I think it was Christmas 1998 that my dad bought me a copy of Good Morning Spider. About 30 seconds into the opening track, Pig, I recognised that this was one of the greatest things I'd ever heard. Actually, it was like nothing I'd ever heard - distorted and demented and yet with this incredibly catchy chorus. The rest of the album did not disappoint, and remains one of my all time favourite records. It manages to be both peaceful and intense, sometimes sad and lonely, other times dreamy and warm, and always, always full of the majesty of nature - of weather, plants and animals. What's more, all of the Sparklehorse records are like this - I'd have no hesitation in recommending the lot to you.
Alex and I went to see him play in Manchester maybe around 2000 or 2001, and it was astonishing to find that in person he was just as weird as on record. He was after all a former heroin addict that almost lost his legs and wrote Good Morning Spider while recovering in a London hospital. We were expecting him to be pretty crazy. Before the opening track of the set, a piece of equipment broke, so he went and sat on the speaker stand and chain smoked, keeping his eyes away from crowd and looking like he might be about to break down. Eventually the problem was fixed and the band launched straight into the slow five and a half minute secret track off their latest album - probably the only time I've ever seen a band do this! Linkous had two mics, one for clean vocals and one for fuzzy, but he didn't follow the recorded versions of songs at all - he just seemed to choose which to sing into randomly based on whichever way his mood turned as he approached each line. He also had a box next to him with a mass of dials and switches on it. Towards the end of some of the songs, he'd get down on his knees and wrestle with the box, pushing all of the buttons in different combinations, moving sliders from one side to the other or sometimes just hammering it. And what did the box do? Absolutely nothing, as far as we could tell! The music sounded exactly the same, irrespective of what he pressed or how hard he fought with it... But it all added to the experience - bizarre and magical.
That seems an appropriate way to sum up Mark Linkous. Bizarre and magical, and responsible for some truly breathtaking and beautiful albums.
Friendship and morality – are they at odds with
one another? Is having friends
fundamentally selfish? Interesting
questions not easily solved. So I won’t
bother. Instead, let me tell you about Passion
Pit – an exciting new outfit that combines a touch of Mew with a hint of M83
and a sprinkling of MGMT. MMM. We like their
record a lot – oh yes, enough to buy it even! And in an age in which no one seems to have any interest in owning
music, that seems like a pretty big deal.
“But what of Silent Alliance?” I hear you cry
from the locked pantry. Well on Saturday,
while you were incarcerated and sleeping on a pile of digestive biscuits,
Silent Alliance was busy building a photography studio. This proved a worthwhile endeavour,
particularly since the band is now the proud owner of a 9ft roll of paper. If you can think of some way in which we
could use this paper, please don’t hesitate to contact us via all of the usual
channels (or even the unusual channels, if you’re that way inclined).
Expect to see the fruits of our photographic labour
in about a week or so on this, the Silent Alliance website. Expect also some new gig dates, which I’m
sure you’ll agree are long overdue. On a
positive note, the band is returning to rehearsals next week, to work on songs
new and old as well as choreographing a new entrance march/experimental
dance. We call it ‘The Dance’.
I wish I was a political blogger. It would be much easier then to just make stuff up.
I approach 2010 with a positive mindset – a mindset that says, “Never say die!” and “Never say never!” and “Never back down!” and “Never give up! Never surrender!”. For while England succumbs to the menace of the snowman, I refuse to let my life be dictated by the weather, and tomorrow, I fully intend to go snorkelling. But back to matters musical and present. The band, fresh as a mulled wine, is currently making the final tweaks to the new website, so expect those sooner rather than later, while more gigs are almost certainly in the pipeline… all that’s needed is for us to locate the right pipe.
I once took a taxi from Kentish Town to Paddington and was told that I should quit my current occupation and become a plumber. The money is apparently very good. As are the plums. Ho ho. That joke was taken from a Christmas cracker, forgive me. You know that feeling – when you have to write something because a reminder has popped up on your screen telling you as much, but you really have absolutely nothing to write about because you’ve spent the past fortnight getting drunk and pretending to be sixteen again?
No?
Neither do I. That’s good – such behaviour is well sad. Back to the band then, and plans are afoot to record a second album over the coming months, at a variety of undisclosable London locations. If anyone would like to suggest a title for the second Silent Alliance long player, we’ll be handing around a hat at every gig between now and May 15th. Simply write your suggestion (ensuring you keep it under 43 characters) on a piece of paper or possibly cardboard, and drop it in the hat as it makes its way around the auditorium. Note – please use black ink only, as the machines won’t register blue or red. And don’t spoil your paper – yes yes yes, we know you’re disillusioned with Labour but don’t want the Tories to get in, however I’m afraid there’s nothing we can do about it!
On a different note, you know when it’s cold you get dry lips and cracks appear and sometimes become cuts except they don’t bleed? How the hell do you get them to heal?! I’ve had one for the past three weeks in the centre of my upper lip, and to be quite frank I’m fed up with it because it’s making me look like a moron...
I'd like now to take a moment to look back on the events of the past twelve months, with the hope that in doing so, we can somehow emerge wiser, get our cars repaired and ask forgiveness for our multiple infidelities. I have spent the bulk of the year discreetly looking through Facebook profiles to see how many of my former classmates have lost their looks. All I can say is, thank God there's no high-school reunion on the cards.
But while some have been drained of their beauty, others seem finally to have blossomed - like a flower - or at least maintained consistency in their looks - like a cactus. Let's not dwell on that any longer - I don't think the individuals in question will appreciate being compared to cacti (many of them suffer from a prickly disposition).
What has 2009 taught us from a musical perspective? Well, it's taught us that Katy Perry is better than Lily Allen, that Bob Dylan still has a sense of humour, that X-Factor can be toppled, and that The Streets remain a popular critics choice, despite the fact that I'm convinced no one actually listens to Mike Skinner.
And from a non-musical perspective? Well, I've finally learnt how to tie shoelaces, so that's one item I can cross off my list of '100 things to do before I die'. Worryingly, I seem to have completed all 100 now. In retrospect, I guess I shouldn't have included such mundane and easy to achieve goals. For example, "Get dressed" - that was probably a mistake. Although having said that, if I had failed to get dressed, I may have struggled to complete the rest of the list.
I'd like to conclude by thanking the rest of the band for letting me wear a hat to the Bar Music Hall Gig.
Anyway, merry Christmas and happy holidays. God bless us. Everyone.
Apologies, there will be no further hint of misogyny on this blog. For although Emmeline Pankhurst was widely criticised for her militant tactics, her work is recognised as a crucial element in achieving women's suffrage in Britain. It is interesting to note that historians disagree about the effect of her activity on public support for the cause, and I certainly consider myself a historian.
Still, enough of this, and enough of that. Let's move onto band business. As the end of 2009 moves ever closer, the band can look back on a year of progress, of an album release in the Philippines, of fun-filled recording sessions, fabulous line-up additions and above all else, plenty of misogyny. The highlight of the year for me was our acoustic show at the King's Head, sponsored by Red Stripe. I also enjoyed watching Mew at Shepherd's Bush Empire. But that has nothing to do with the band.
And what is 2010 likely to bring for Silent Alliance, and more importantly, for you the ever-faithful Silent Alliance Scruffs (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Apple_scruffs)? Well, I want to release a UK single, so that - I have decreed - will be our number one objective. This time next year I want Silent Alliance to go head to head with Rage Against The Machine. And after that, we'll battle it out for the Christmas #1 spot.
Second on my list of objectives is playing in Cambridge. Why? Because I have a place to stay afterwards. And it's also a beautiful city.
And now my dear friends and lovers, I must depart. I have a date with destiny. And a train.
Imagine playing cricket on the moon.
The biggest news from holiday-camp-gone-wild Silent Alliance is that more studio dabblings have occurred, this time at a secret location in South London. While it's regrettable that members of the band were forced south of the river, sometimes you have to take one for the team. And I'm happy to say that, during an attempted mugging, our drummer Giles sacrificed his own life so that the rest of the band might flee. Unfortunately, it was the rest of the band that were mugging him.
Imagine playing football on a minefield.
Anyway, the two songs we're working on are quickly taking shape, with grand pianos, strange synths and ridiculously high-pitched vocals. We're also progressing quickly on a couple of other new tracks which you can expect to hear at some point in January... Where? I don't know. I never know.
Imagine playing snooker while being digested by a snake.
I'd also like to issue a warning to anyone considering attending the charity Christmas carol singing displays currently taking place in Trafalgar Square. Stay for the Church of Scotland singers, then get the hell out of there. Last night I had to endure twenty minutes of a 3-piece girl band called Dolly Mix (I think) massacring Christmas hits and performing the single worst ever version of Silent Night. It was truly embarrassing - worse than being in a small and sparsely populated stand-up comedy club watching a comedian break down and cry inconsolably about his recent custody battle. Seriously, don't attempt to sing Christmas hits if your voices are crap and none of you know the words. And don't claim that your next song is going to be number one when it's blatantly not. And don't claim to be the next big thing when you're clearly destined to be chased out of town like common pygmies. And for the record girls, it's Great Ormond Street Hospital, not Great Almond Street.
I think I'll leave it at that.
Last night I received an update regarding the Silent Alliance homepage redesign that we've been promising you. I'd love to be able to pass that update on. So I will. The logo has been designed. That's where we're at. No more, no less. Certainly no more.
Is there other band news I'm neglecting to mention? Well, yes as it happens. The band has been back in the studio laying down some guitars and drums, and then promptly picking them back p again in order to make music. Sounds exciting, huh?
Well, let me tell you kids, being in a recording studio can actually be a gruelling and laborious process. For starters, it takes an awfully long time to set everything up. It then takes an awfully long time to get a successful take of each instrument. It then takes an awfully long time to record the vocals. It then takes an awfully long time to figure out why the song doesn't sound right and insert the missing cowbell. And, all of the while, you have to sit around resisting the temptation to:
a) drink continous cups of coffee
b) get drunk
c) assault your drummer
d) all of the above
I hope this proves to be a valuable lesson to you all. I'm not trying to claim that studio time is without merit - on the contrary, some of my happiest memories have come when I've been hurling chairs at our drummer while loaded up on caffeine and booze. I'm just saying that there is a downside, and I'd rather you heard it here than being forced to experience it for yourself. Particularly since I don't think our drummer Giles could stomach another beating.
Anyway, the band is taking a break, or regrouping, as it were, for a couple of weeks now... but don't for a second let that fool you into thinking that we're taking a break or regrouping - far from it! Over the coming days we hope to conduct a website overhaul and redesign, which will result in the overhauling and redesign of the website. Any of you that have an objection to this, please feel free to write in and complain. Your comments will be used to feed starving children in Africa. And Ireland.
We've seen quite a lot of messages coming from online music PR and marketing types of late - yet it's very hard to tell, in the absence of case studies, whether these guys really cut the mustard, or whether in fact they are genuinely responsible for online PR and marketing. If anyone can shed any light on this matter, feel free to write in and complain. Your comments will used to save the Panda from extinction.
Finally, why am I the only person who hasn't seen Inherit The Wind? It's just not fair - instead I get 'treated' to Benjamin Britton's piss-poor operatic adaptation of The Turn Of The Screw, a production so terrible that it would quite literally drive a Panda to extinction (if it were shown in China). If anyone would like to take me as their guest to see Inherit The Wind, please feel free to write in and complain etc etc.
The week has been calm and tranquil, like the aftermath of a locust plague - I've hardly done a thing for Silent Alliance, choosing instead to watch half of the BBC's 1998 adaptation of 'Our Mutual Friend'. Did I make the right choice? Judge for yourself tomorrow night.
It had Anna Friel in it - that's all I'll say on the matter.
And she's hot. That's also all I'll say on the matter.
I'd like to see the stage version of Breakfast at Tiffany's. That's the final all I say on the matter.
Astonishingly, the whole band has been invited to a party on Saturday, which makes a pleasant change from the many parties we're not invited to. I suspect this is because back in April 2008 we outclassed, outmanouvred and generally outshone all the guests at a swanky Tower Hill affair by turning up in smart suits, smart shoes and particularly smart hair. The other guests were not happy, to say the least... Possibly because they were all naked.
One little nugget, or snippet, or whore of information that I can share with you is that a new Silent Alliance website is in the works. At least, it's in Philip's head, which is a reasonable starting point. We anticipate that the new site will be so glossy and shiny that it will attract crows and possibly ravens.
But enough about me. I wonder if Giles, our venerable village drummer, can write RSS feeds? Who knows?... Hopefully he. And that's all I'll say on the matter.
It was one of just two brown t-shirts that I've ever owned, the other being a Placebo 'skinny' that I used to wear in my band 'The Angry Red Planets'. My navel would be on view and girls used to tell me I should get it pierced. Mind you, piercings seemed more fashionable at that age than they do now. I remember quite a few people getting their eyebrows done after we'd broken up from high school, then being told that they couldn't have them on display in the exam halls. This meant a ridiculous number of people turning up for exams with massive plasters over their eyes - it made it look as though half the year had been involved in a massive knife-fight.
I'm not really sure why eyebrow piercings were outlawed in this manner? I mean, while personally I've never been a big fan of them, they don't serve to give pupils any real advantage in an exam situation. Presumably it's something to do with school uniforms, but then, I never understood why you had to wear your uniform to the exams either. Perhaps I oughtn't to complain too much - after all, is it Oxford or Cambridge (or both) where you have to attend exams dressed in those daft black gowns? I've only even worn one of those things once, and that was in my Grandma's back garden shortly after I graduated. I refused to attend my official graduation, because I didn't rate my university and I didn't really have any friends on my course, so we had our own family celebration up in Bury instead. I spoke to one person about the ceremony a few years later, and they described it as being 'alright'. Who knows - maybe I should've gone? But at the time I was taking infinitely more pleasure in Jack Daniels and Miles Davies. It was a strange old time, that's for sure...
This could well prove to be the single most uninteresting blog entry I've ever come up with. I read through it about 20 minutes ago and fell asleep. So rather than continue, I'll tell you more about my Grandma's back garden on another occasion, and move swiftly on now to look at the events of last week. The Sun abandoned Gordon Brown, the sun finally stopped shining upon London , and Silent Alliance visited a Fortuna Pop-hosted night at The Lexington. I'd like to take this opportunity to say that we were genuinely thrilled to see so many of you there - it made our first show with the new line-up very special, while also making the two new members unbelievably nervous. I believe that Alex 'Massive G' Geddes was actually metaphysically sick, just before we took to the stage.
Our thoughts now turn to October 16th and 333 (the number of the younger beast... or yeast, if you will). To date all of the shows at 333 have been fabulous, and I see no reason for this to change. Expect at least one, maybe even two new songs. We are working hard, we are making progress, and we have discovered a new drum filter on Adobe Audition. This could change everything.
That is all for now!
In the jungle, the mighty jungle, the Silent Alliance sleeps tonight. But not – I fear – for long, as there are new gigs afoot, and new songs ahand... And, like the lion, we must begin live rehearsals. For gig details check out the Silent Alliance website news page this Thursday, or check out the live page right now.
Since posting last I have ventured forth into pastures new - specifically, the pasture that is Croatia. And what do you think I saw? I saw trees of green... red roses too. It almost made me burst into song. But now I am home, and I am bursting, because I am ALL ABOUT THE MUSIC, baby.
Philip and myself have been busily buzzing away like the proverbial africanised honey bees we have become around a new (old) song called Kindness. It has a distinctly disco vibe, a chorus to freeze even the warmest of hearts (and vice versa), and a middle eight that we borrowed for use in one of our other songs about two years ago (we're now stealing it back from ourselves).
An interesting side note - a quick glance at my calculator tells me that the average age of the band is now just eight. Garden gate, Harry Tate, bakers dozen... eight. Afraid?
I thought not. If anyone can recommend a good calculator repair shop, they should consider themselves even weirder than me.
Now that's something to be afraid of.
Firstly, our long and often frustrating search for a keyboardist is at an end, primarily because we’ve recruited from within, allowing Kirkham Jr to move away from guitar and take up his preferred position, standing at the back, boogying around pretending to be Bob Dylan.
Secondly, we’re pleased to welcome into the fold Alex Geddes, the man responsible for introducing the two Silent Alliance songwriters to one another. Alex G will assume the role vacated by Kirkham Jr and ensure that Silent Alliance can now take up its position as one of the tallest bands on the music scene today.
Finally, as a reward for his continued devotion to the Silent Alliance cause – mixing us, engineering us and playing live with us during Kirkham Jr’s recent African excursion – Rhys Downing now joins the band permanently on bass guitar (on the condition that he shaves off his beard, or at least reduces it to a moustache).
Of course, there is an inevitable downside to such large-scale band rearranging. As we welcome in the new line-up, we must also bid farewell to Alex Brettel, bassist with Silent Alliance since the early days of Feeling Gloomy, Boston Arms, and that truly Godawful place near Leicester Square. Alex B played a key role in helping the band achieve its early momentum, and has remained loyal and committed to us throughout. She is much-loved by all, and it will be very sad to see her depart. Alex intends to spend more time working on her somewhat neglected but rather excellent solo project ‘Blown-a-wish’, while her place in Silent Alliance folklore is pretty much guaranteed by the fact that she appears on the front cover of our debut album ‘The Spirit of an Age to Come’!
So, that brings you up-to-speed with all of the latest band developments. The next challenge will be to rehearse with the new line-up, in preparation for a sizeable raft of shows in October and November. Let us hope that said raft does not capsize.
Yes, your favourite gastro band (or gastric band, if you prefer) is, after a brief summer hiatus returning to action this Friday. Hopefully the gig at the King's Head, Crouch End, will mark the start of a year-long musical feast that we can all enjoy - even vegetarians.
Or perhaps not. For though Mahatma Ghandhi (whoever he is) is quoted as saying, "I do not regard flesh food as necessary for us at any stage and under any clime in which it is possible for human beings ordinarily to live... I hold flesh-food to be unsuited to our species," he is in fact wrong.
How many fans will my vegetarian-bashing lose us? Too many I fear. I will endeavour to make up for these sins by offering a free parsnip to all of you that attend Friday's show... There you go – no doubt sign enough of my generousity of spirit... And the only condition I ask is that, in order to be eligible for this latest Silent Alliance promotion, you slaughter a goat with us on stage.
Anyway, moving reluctantly on, like a bitter and twisted divorcee, I am pleased to inform you that Silent Alliance has been approached to play at a prestigious Oxford event next June (which should give us ample rehearsal time), while the band is currently entertaining the possibility of securing a UK release for debut album 'The Spirit of an Age to Come'. More on this soon I hope. In the meantime, rest assured that where there is meat to be murdered, your favourite indie dance-poppers will be there - like a knife to the jugular!
The choice is clear – Silent Alliance saves lives.”
The above is an extract from a new Government advertising campaign designed to raise awareness about Silent Alliance amongst young people. Other advertisements featured in the campaign tackle wide-ranging issues such as third world debt, poverty, prostitution and whaling.
In gig-related news, Silent Alliance is about to play another acoustic show. This follows on from the last wildly successful acoustic performance in Summer 2006. It’s hard to remember exactly which songs were played at this gig – one suspects that Hollow Talk and Permafrost were probably on the setlist, and who knows – they may be again on August 28th at the Kings Head in trend-setting Crouch End.
Hmm.. what can I report beyond this? The African Silent Alliance member is due to return from Tanzania on Monday morning at 7am, where he will be greeted at Manchester Airport by hoards of gossip-hungry reporters. They intend to question him on matters concerning the illegal dumping of toxic waste on African shores. Meanwhile, the band continues to liaise with PR companies and management types, and fingers crossed that some progress will actually be made in the next couple of months. It has after all been long enough.
In my spare time, I have been rediscovering the genius of The Purple One, enjoying The Gold Experience in particular, while also lamenting the fact that it’ll probably be 2022 or thereabouts by the time we get a remastered version of Sign O’ The Times. This is due to laws over music ownership, and the fact that Prince does not own any of his back-catalogue up until Rave Un2 The Joy Fantastic, with the exception of Emancipation. Emancipation was, I believe, released on his own record label, while in order to satisfy his contractual obligations to Warner, he gave theman appalling off-cuts album called Chaos and Disorder. It is probably Prince’s worst record, and given that Prince has also released Come and The Black Album, that really is saying something.
Anyway, enough of this legal jiggery-pokery – let’s face the music and dance!
Just a short note to alert you to an acoustic show we’re playing in Crouch End on Friday 28th August. It’s the bank holiday weekend – so you’ll have an extra day to recover before returning for work. Sadly I have forgotten the name of the venue, so you’ll have to keep refreshing the page for the next two weeks for further details.
And now I’m afraid to say, I must leave you with grave news:
http://www.sansabanews.com/news/article/18818
Apologies for the downbeat tone I've taken - it has been a long week, and as yet it is only Tuesday. What will Wednesday's child bring?
Swine Flu.
The band is going through a quiet period, though not in the financial markets sense, however all is not lost - new songs are on the way. Behind the scenes I have been busily mixing like a witch's prisoner, and hope to serve up the brew (songs) for you to sup on (listen to) shortly.
In other news, there's the possibility of a gig in Crouch End on August 28th. Of course, Lord knows how anyone will get there, given that Crouch End is only accessible by a series of hidden passages deep underground, but we'll see what we can do.
Today the Mercury Music Prize nominations were announced, and I was pleasantly surprised to find that I'd heard of several of the entrants. In fact, I'd actually seen one of them live (though admittedly it was by accident). The most worrying thing in my mind though is that I heard the Lily Allen song 'The Fear' for the first time a few days ago, and I have this unnerving feeling that I like it. Concerned? You should be - this could be the musical influence that destroys our merry band's career. Still, it could be worse. I could be listening to Madness.
No, I'm just kidding - I'd never do that. Seriously.
I'd unravel any riddleFor any individ'leIn trouble or in pain
(Dorothy)With the thoughts you'd be thinkin'You could be another Lincoln If you only had a brain
Oh, I would tell you whyThe ocean's near the shoreI could think of things I never thunk beforeAnd then I'd sit and think some more
I would not be just a nuffin'My head all full of stuffin'My heart all full of painI would dance and be merryLife would be a ding-a-derryIf I only had a brain
And on that note, I welcome you to this insane asylum of a blog, as your dear band prepares to depart for a headlining slot at London's viciously trendy 333 in violently hip Shoreditch. This will be the third consecutive performance with temporary guitarist Rhys Downing - but will it be the last?
Who knows - for some reason Silent Alliance seems to have risen in the estimations of various gig promoters and do-gooders, an occurrence which coincides interestingly enough with Kirkham Jr.'s departure to Tanzania. Does he know something we don't? The answer is yes... maths.
Away from the giggery, the band has been working on new material, as ever, and as ever, it's sounding pretty damn impressive, resembling as it does an early Jackson Five hit. Sorry to bring Jacko into proceedings, but hey - that's life. Or death. One of the two, for sure.
Still, as the nation turns its attention to that plucky young Brit (or good-for-nothing Scot, depending on whether he's winning or losing), my eyes remain firmly on Iran. And that can only be a good thing for Iran.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cxrJNtijA20
Silent Alliance and mixer/engineer Rhys Downing visit a Guildford studio to record new material - check it out!
Good afternoon.
Apologies for starting on that bleak note, but it’s bleak house, and indeed a bleak world. I feel like breaking away and forming my own world, taking Jensen Button and his ilk with me so that we can compete in a restriction-free environment where the stakes are high, the wages is high, and VAT on fuel is high. Because let’s not forget that even in my own world, the environmental impact of vehicles must be considered.
Anyone present at Silent Alliance’s recent Oxford show will have noticed that we have entered Have I Got News For You territory – not in the sense that we are a popular news-based quiz, but in the sense that we had a guest presenter (guitarist) in place of our regular and longterm presenter (guitarist). Yes, since Kirkham Jr indulged in a cocaine-fuelled sex romp with a hooker, he has been forced to leave the band. This is primarily because he didn’t invite us to join him.
Of course, should Kirkham Jr. get his act together, stay off the blow and pay for the young harlet’s facial reconstructive surgery, he will be allowed back into the band bosom.
But only if he pays.
In the meantime, we are hopeful that the eligible non-prostitute-hitting Rhys Downing will be joining us for a second appearance with the band a week today at Camden’s popular disco-dancing joint Belushi’s. We also hope you’ll be joining us. It’ll be serious fun - like making out with your lawyer in the middle of a crowded courtroom after you've been convicted of murder.
Despite the impending absence of Kirkham Jr (or Frodo, as he's known in Middle Earth), Silent Alliance appears to have a couple of summer shows on the horizon. There's a sold out date at the Jericho Tavern in Oxford a week from now, supporting a seminal artist whose name escapes me, and there's also the possibility of a show in Camden (about time too!) later on in the month. I won't give too many details away now... It'll be at Belushis on June 26th.
Oops - that was a slip of the tongue to say the least. The last time my tongue slipped like that, well, you don't want to know the details I assure you. It was disgusting. Never again. No. But enough about my personal life. Let's talk instead about mastering, that dark art, or art noir, if you prefer. What I love about mastering is that I have absolutely no understanding of how it actually works. You send the songs in, they get mastered, they come out sounding better - and I don't know how or why. Why am I bringing this up, you ask? Spite? No.
Well, yes. But also because that exact same thing has just happened to All The Stations and Days In Red. And they now sound fantastic...
Of course, I've mentioned these songs such a lot in recent weeks that they are in danger of being somewhat overhyped. Certainly plans are afoot to record some more tracks, if for no other purpose than to relieve the pressure on me, your humble blogger, news updater and twitterer - I've reached a stage now where it's actually easier to write new songs than it is to come up with new website content. Lord have mercy on us all.
Finally, I must say a quick thank you to the growing number of people on Twitter that are trying to spread the Silent Alliance word. Your efforts are much appreciated. Your lives will be spared.
It is in fact our venerable village druid Alex's birthday party on Sunday, so do come along and join us. We'll be meeting at the Japan Foundation London Language Centre near Russell Square at 1am. Bring a mackintosh and a gun.
It's also my own birthday in a couple of weeks' time. I'm currently on the lookout for a magician (not anything gruesome, just good, clean family fun) so if you know anyone that can make rabbits appear in hats or make pigs smoke, please let me know asap. I also need a venue. And an audience. And a rabbit and a pig.
I must say a quick thanks to those loyal followers that made it to our recent Catch show - hopefully you enjoyed yourselves and our new songs, 'All The Stations' and 'Days In Red'. I'm afraid we're currently no clearer as to whether these songs will be released anytime soon, however they're being mastered next week and after that we may well form a committee to instigate a review of whether or not an eventual release may or may not prove feasible. We're also going to get my moat cleaned at your expense... Pretty disgusting, huh?
Anyway, I'll leave you with a question: Can anyone end Rafael Nadal's winning run at Roland Garros?
It's been a quiet couple of weeks for Silent Alliance, mainly due to Kirkham Jr having to take some time out to complete his OWLS. However, all has gone well (apart from that class where you have to grow weird plants) and the band should be back and gigging in a fortnight - indeed, there will likely be several gigs announced on this fair website in the next few days... And after that? Well, sadly Kirkham Jr will again be taking a brief sabbatical - this time some sort of wizarding trip out to Tanzania.
Moving on, I know we have mentioned the search for a keyboardist about a million times on this blog, and frankly it's getting a little bit tired. So you'll be pleased to know that I'm not going to mention it again.
The growing (alleged) importance of Twitter makes me concerned that I might start neglecting this blog and its loyal band of lunatic followers. This will not do. I cannot risk you turning to the occult instead - Silent Alliance has no time for incantations, unless they are musically valid. So I hereby promise to do my utmost to blog more, and to tweet less (I believe that's the correct technical term (unless of course you're completely unfamiliar with twitter, in which case you'll assume I'm referring to some sort of bird impression)). That said, our twittering has already landed us a potential album review with a Singapore-based newspaper, while three years of blogging has done little except establish that I'm insane, and should not be left alone with social networking enthusiasts.
On an interesting note, or rather, an a note that's interesting for me, I'm actually off on holiday on Sunday. That's about as much personal information as I'm willing to impart publically. Privately however, I'll tell you all of the disgusting things I have planned. Mainly involving bird impressions and frogs.
Keep watching the skis.
It feels like an age since my last blog – indeed, several species have no doubt become extinct during the last fortnight, as has my pet goat. Like Phil Collins, I am currently in a land of confusion, so forgive any instability in what I write, and equally, in what I fail to write, which is arguably more important.
I was unfortunate enough to damage my ribs last Thursday in a collision with a former bouncer, and have since been in a state of agony. Despite my injury however, I have been able to progress an interesting discussion with a mastering expert, or expert of mastering, if you will, with regards to a potential forthcoming Silent Alliance single, while I have also been able to give a healthy Facebook thumbs-up to the latest mix of new track ‘All The Stations’. This I like, a lot!
Sadly all of the gig offers of late have come at inconvenient moments for the band, however I feel a change in both the weather and our fortunes may be just around the corner, and this will bring with it gigs aplenty, along with a cold front. Next, the shipping news.
In unrelated scamperings, I just tried to take a sip of my water, and accidentally poured it all over me. Thank goodness I’m not in the desert, where water is scarce, as are ships.
Finally, have you ever tried to mentally undress a hawk?
Don’t bother - waste of time, I assure you...
If you’re not doing anything tomorrow, why not hop on down to 11 Hoxton Square to check out your favourite dance-pop troupe premiere new material for the first time since the launch of debut album ‘The Spirit of an Age to Come’? The fun starts at 8.00pm, and you can find more details through the Silent Alliance website www.silent-alliance.com
Silent Alliance has of course recently visited a Guildford Studio to record two masterful new songs, and cannot wait – CANNOT WAIT – to expose them to the music world. CANNOT WAIT! Look forward to cowbells, egg shakers, tambourines, and most amazing of all, two guitarists playing the same guitar at the same time! No, we’re not making a pointless novelty record – consider this blog a behind-the-scenes guide to the art of creating genius…
Apologies. It is entirely conceivable that, during the recording process, I may have lost my mind. Indeed, I have not really felt the same since, and have notably spent most of my evenings watching the old St. Trinian’s films on my own while drinking pink grapefruit juice. That said, it has been the most enjoyable week of my life - more on this next time :)
I've always been of the opinion that people shouldn't just talk to each other for the sake of it - silence is infinitely preferable to conversation devoid of substance. Consequently, I fear for a society so desperate for constant interaction that it has been reduced to such primitive measures as the thumbs up/thumbs down feature.
"Status update: Tom Kirkham is unhappy as both his parents have died after getting caught in the gears of a combine harvester.
Comments: John Adams doesn't like this - thumbs down."
Well thanks for that John!
It's meaningless and it's unnecessary, and if things carry on this way then society will almost certainly eat itself - you mark my words! Please, Silent Alliance fans, I urge you to boycott this feature. If you really feel the need to comment on every aspect of your friends' lives, at least bother to say something constructive. For example:
"Status update: Tom Kirkham is unhappy as both his parents have died after getting caught in the gears of a combine harvester.
John Adams comments: What colour was the combine harvester?"
Silent Alliance will reward you all for this action by running you over with a combine harvester... Or alternatively, by giving you new songs that you can play to your friends in order to tear them away from their Facebook profiles and remind them of what the world used to be like. And maybe after we can all go out to the park and kick a football around, or beat up some homeless people, like we used to do, back in the day...
It’s also been a strange and twisted week in the life of Silent Alliance. We’re immersed in talk of promotional photoshoots, promotional videos, promotional biscuits and promotional doggy bags. We’ve also demoed two new tracks, under the provisional titles ‘Yeah’ and ‘Grace’, while we have a rough demo in place for a third new track, which is going under the unlikely name ‘DX1’. I suspect this may change in the coming weeks, as it sounds like some sort of robot dog. And, as you know, I’ve never been a fan of animal cruelty, except of course where Dolphins are concerned.
Hmm, what other news do I have to shed? Well, we’re playing a gig on April 15th somewhere in Hoxton square. I forget the venue name, but what I do know is – be there, or be (Hoxton) square.
Ho ho!
As I’m sure you’ll be able to tell from the slightly more sensible news page on this humble website, we finally have a release date for the Philippines – April 18th, if all goes well. I for one am excited about purchasing my second copy of ‘The Spirit of an Age to Come’ – this time I even intend to listen to it.
And I’ll end with a thought for the day – what has happened to Amy Lee? She used to be so hot, and she was like this really quirky, fun Michael Jackson-loving girl with an amazing voice, who happened to dress in corsets and cloaks and sing in a daft nu-goth-metal band… And now she’s like… not…
The answer of course is yes - Silent Alliance.
Just three weeks to go until your favourite rabble of divas heads into the studio, and it's fair to say that we're hopelessly underprepared. We've done nothing, basically. It will be interesting to see how this situation develops, but there's certainly an argument that living dangerously can bring the best out of you. Or kill you. Or both, as in the case of Steve Irwin.
In other news, our search for a keyboardist continues - if you're interested, do drop us a line with your credentials. But please, no more children, as you're not covered by our insurance.
And finally, on a slightly unrelated note, I received a spam email yesterday with the subject line 'actual python in your pants'. Personally I can't think of anything more horrific.
Yes, this is the sort of fun that lies in wait for Silent Alliance and its growing entourage. Much has happened since last I wrote - more gigs, more songs, some more songs, some more gigs - the list is endless!
To be more specific, the band has scheduled some studio time for early April, and is anxiously awaiting a release date for the Philippines release of 'The Spirit of an Age to Come', which includes 'lost' Silent Alliance track 'From Russia with Love' as a bonus track. Not that the track was actually ever lost - I meant it in the metaphysical sense.
The band is, in addition to all of this, looking to get some more shows confirmed for March and April, so don't get too hooked on Living TV just yet - there's a whole world of adrenaline-fuelled dance-pop for you to sink your teeth into!
NB. Anyone found sinking their teeth into members of Silent Alliance during a show will be ejected from the venue in question.
In the meantime, Silent Alliance rolls merrily on, like a hedgehog that has been kicked down a hill. We're playing at No One Died on Saturday night, at The Enterprise in Chalk Farm. We played there once before, and No One Died... Except for a poor unfortunate hedgehog. But in the cut and thrust of modern musical entertainment, this is pretty inevitable.
Following that, we'll be playing in Kings Cross at a night called Fishcaek. My only hope is that they aren't offering us free food (unless hedgehog is on the menu).
I think I may have mentioned previously on the blog that we're looking to recruit a human keyboardist to accompany the band live, while we're also negotiating a deal for our album, The Spirit of an Age to Come, in the Philippines. Rumour has it they may be getting a bonus track too, so for all you people that have already bought the record, please, go out and buy it again. Or ask us nicely for the bonus track. And then buy it again, because we'll almost certainly say no.
So, until Saturday then, might I suggest that you stick Permafrost on your iPod and head off into the snow. But don't throw any snowballs at Lily Allen, as you're likely to be arrested. Yes, therein lies the real reason for my recent lack of blogging...
Like the bubonic plague in 1665, some things it would seem are unavoidable. I'm referring of course to the ending of one year, and the beginning of another, a tradition that looks set to continue unabated until the earth is eventually consumed by the sun. This time around, 2008 and 2009 are the years in question, and as I sit at my desk, tucking into a sumptuous roast donkey (very seasonal, no?) I must confess that I'm slightly sad to see the former depart.
It has after all been a rather productive year for notorious death-eaters Silent Alliance. We released an album (buy it now!), we played a lot of shows, had a lot of laughs, slaughtered a lot of dolphins etc... We've had tremendous fun, and when I look ahead to 2009, and see little other than the inevitability of total world domination, it does make the heart sink somewhat. But there you go - we've set our course and we must stick to it, even if it does involve longer hours and more paperwork.
I remember last year on the blog, I handed out end-of-year awards to the band, commending them on various imperfections and illegal acts. Unfortunately, it proved to be one of the least popular posts, so I won't be repeating that mistake. I can however reveal that while sadly none of Silent Alliance has made the New Year Honours list, venerable drummer Giles Taylor has recently been made an Archdeacon - congratulations to him and his diocese.
Anyway, in addition to saying happy new year and all that, I thought it would be nice to obtain for you some personal messages from the members of Silent Alliance:
Alex - Dear Silent Alliance fans, your beauty is exceeded only by your beneficence. I love all of you.
Lewis - Dear Silent Alliance fans, your beneficence is exceeded only by your beauty. I am obsessed with all of you.
Philip - Dear Silent Alliance fans, 2008 was Chinese Year of the Rat. Once the God of Heaven wanted to choose 12 animal names as the sequence of the calendar. He decided to hold an animal racing to determine the order. When the racing date was near, Cat forgot the time and asked Rat the schedule. Alert Rat gave Cat the wrong time on purpose. Smart Rat stayed on the horn of Ox while crossing the river, then jumped over the bank to reach the final line and win the race. Cat missed the racing time and swore to kill Rat for generations. That's why Cat always chases Rat forever.
Tom - Dear Silent Alliance fans, all I can think of by way of a personal message is to echo the sentiments of Dick King Smith, who once said that, "The single nicest thing about my success is not the critical acclaim or the money - it's the tens of thousands of letters I get from children all over the world."
Venerable Giles - Dear Silent Alliance fans, God bless you.
How do you really identify the influences of a particular band or group of musicians? If someone asks me, temporary communications ambassador of Silent Alliance, which artists have influenced us as a band, I'll almost certainly launch into the 'definitive' list of Silent Alliance favourites - New Order, Hakan Hellstrom, Bruce Springsteen, Kate Bush, Mew, The Cure etc... But is that really the extent of it?
For example, at least two of the band are massive Bob Dylan fans. Now, there's not much evidence to suggest that Silent Alliance has been influenced by Mr. Zimmerman. But at the same time, one quick listen to the two Hakan Hellstrom records will tell you that he's a massive fan of songs such as 'I Want You' and 'Subterranean Homesick Blues'. And we're massively influenced by him, so does that make us indirectly influenced by Bob?
Equally, I'm sat here watching a Paul McCartney DVD (not that crap one that Lew owns, but the Back In The World DVD from the tour that we attended). And I'm thinking about his almost unparalleled genius, and wondering whether or not he too has had an influence on our sound, in some way, shape or form. The same could be said of Radiohead, My Bloody Valentine, The Smiths, Depeche Mode and countless other bands that are worshipped within the ranks of the band.
Speaking personally, my guitar heroes in my formative years were Prince, The Edge, Brian May and other such rock legends - likewise, my favourite band of all time is James, in my humble opinion the greatest pop band ever, so I feel certain that they must be there in spirit on the Silent Alliance debut album. But then, Philip grew up listening to Fields of the Nephilim and Killing Joke, and I'm almost certain that they're not present on the record!
I guess this discussion becomes a lot more interesting when you take it to the crowd - when people say, hey, that song really reminds me of Red House Painters, Prefab Sprout, or any other of the multitude of acts we've been compared to. Do I have a clue as to whether this is in any way accurate? Nope, I've no idea.
Who is the best judge of what Silent Alliance sounds like? The songwriters, the musicians, the audience, the critic, the Silent Alliance haters...? Thankfully we haven't as yet heard from the latter - please feel free to write in and tell us why we're so despised! Yes, I know For A Moment I Thought I Was In Denmark has a chorus that slightly resembles a Stereophonics song, and yes, that does give you every right to complain, but please, it's a coincidence, a one-off, and it's not part of the set anymore!!
I'm not really sure what the point of this blog is. I guess that occasionally I feel obliged to stop talking in riddles and nonsense and try to formulate something more profound. But unfortunately I don't think this is any less nonsensical than my usual ramblings...
So next time then, much delayed, I will finally draft an account of my own personal admiration for Otto von Bismarck, the man who unified Germany, waged a war against the Catholic Church and Pope Pius IX, the Polish, the Social Democratic Party, and ultimately, the man who made all of this possible...
At times you have to stand up and say, "That's enough – no more! Stop following me!!!"
Thankfully, the band are not in the habit of saying this to any of our fans. At least, not yet. It's been a good week in the world of Silent Alliance by all accounts. Except mine. But irrespective, the album has, as you may have seen, appeared in Japanese record shops, blogs, albums of 2008 lists and, most important, your record collections. We hope you're enjoying The Spirit of an Age to Come as much as we're enjoying Kim Wilde's first record.
I'd like to personally thank everyone that turned up to the Old Queen's head for our album launch gig. But I'm not going to. Instead, I'm going to look ahead to the future, to the possibilities of touring east Asia, collaborating with Elton John and losing Giles to scurvy. These are happy dreams indeed.
It's currently Sunday afternoon, at least as far as I'm concerned, and I'm thinking about doing some new recordings, having heard a rather brilliant demo of Philip's last night. I don't want to give too much away, so I can only impart one word further on the subject – and that word is Yazoo.
Anyway, returning to the subject of stalkers (which is a subject close to my heart, and close to my house), I noticed recently, when passing Kentish Town Forum on my way to work, that there were 10-15 people camped out at the front of the venue. This was about 8.00am, I'd estimate, and I was most amused to learn they were queuing all night and all day for a Keane concert. I don't have a great problem with Keane, but I do have to ask, why oh why oh why?
Surely Keane shouldn't warrant that level of obsession? Furthermore, The Forum isn't even very big – when you're at the very back, you're still reasonably close to the action! I must confess I did laugh when I passed the venue again at approximately 6.45pm on my way back from work and found that the queue was still only about 50 strong. And for that you got a day in the rain and the cold… and a Keane concert! The mind boggles…
Talking of Boggle - what a game! I could play that for literally half an hour. My Virgin Trains £10 voucher came today - apparently that's what you get when your train is between one and two hours late. Of course, this doesn't factor in all of the times when your train is just under one hour late. I reckon that if I added up all of the minutes I've been delayed over the past seven years then I'd have more than enough time to go over to Japan and pick up a copy of The Spirit of an Age to Come...
So apparently McCartney is set to finally unveil the lost Beatles 14 minute epic. What I want to know is, when will the next Wings album get a release date? Or the next Beatles album for that matter... jeez... makes the wait for Chinese Democracy seem like a brief stint waiting in line at the local Post Office to pick up a parcel that was delivered while you were at work... that is, if the parcel contains a nail bomb.
Should I dwell upon my least favourite rock band? Probably best to avoid it, and focus instead on more pressing matters... like for instance the nail bomb I received in the post last week.
Or alternatively we could avoid that bag of nails altogether and focus on the Silent Alliance gig a week on Wednesday - November 26th to be precise. Yes, we'll be playing in Islington (details to be found at the Silent Alliance website) to celebrate the launch of The Spirit of an Age to Come, our debut album. Rather like a nail bomb, it's a potential killer, and not something you want to miss. Unlike a nail bomb. The stars are saying it could be the most important album of the decade. And with Mystic Meg on our side, how can we fail? All I can say is, you'd better get your sleeping bags and start camping outside the venue to ensure your spot at the front. But don't forget food and drink. Please, it's vitally important that you don't neglect your body for the sake of Silent Alliance, the way I have been doing over the past few years and days. No one likes a skinny f****er.
The more astute blog readers will notice an extra * thrown in for good measure. And the less astute? Well, they'll probably be camping outside the venue at the moment, and so won't have a chance to read this.
Thanks anyway for the album fanmail we've received so far - it makes our hearts bleed with gratitude, and blood. And we need blood to survive. I can confirm that we'll be selling copies of our album, and our blood, at the gig next Wednesday, so if you're interested in either, just make your presence known to us and we'll come to some sort of arrangement.
Finally I'd like to take this opportunity to say thank you to all of my faithful blog readers for their continued support. I haven't actually received a single message of support, but I can tell from the website hits that you continue to check in and see what I have to say. You have my pity, and soon, fingers crossed, you'll have my blood too...
As the FTSE continues to plunge amidst mounting concerns about the possibility of a global recession, Silent Alliance has a message for all of you fear-stricken investors:
"Stop this crazy panic-selling – you're only making things worse!"
Yes, what investors need to do right now is buy. And what they really need to buy is Silent Alliance's debut 7" 'Cities on Fire', available now on Fastcut records. Check out the Silent Alliance website for further details of how to get your hands on this vinyl and play your own small part in fighting the credit crisis.
I must confess I've been so preoccupied with these market difficulties that I can't really think of anything else to write about. Yesterday I even decided to leave my desk and ask the man in the street what he made of the impending recession. Sadly, the man was hit by a car before I could pose my first question.
That must surely be a contender for the worst joke ever to feature on this blog.
Now I'm no expert in financial matters. Indeed, when I was first told about the existence of 'piggy banks', my immediate reaction was to take my weekly allowance to the nearest farm and physically deposit it within an unsuspecting Saddleback. But I can't help noticing that my life seems to be unnervingly similar to the way it was before the world's markets started freefalling. I don't seem to be paying more money for food, transport or housing; my job is exactly the same as it normally is; I can still get a pint of beer or a gallon of oil when I need one; my money is still safe in my bank (it survived the last foot-and-mouth outbreak); all-in-all, I'm wholly unaffected, and it worries me… Yes, the fear of feeling the pinch is more than adequately compensating for the absence of an actual pinch.
In an attempt to allay my fears, I recently sought the advice of David Buik of BGC Partners. He had this to say:
"All the measures by the US and the UK are a year too late. After Bear Stearns went down, it was obvious there was a serious problem developing and the US should have had a contingency plan in place; same with the UK after Northern Rock. But both governments have been reactive rather than proactive."
"The banking rescue package will probably take about three months to take effect. It's not going to be an overnight remedy. It will work because it has to work. There is no plan B. Confidence takes time to be restored. More interest rate cuts will help this as well."
"Markets are going to see massive volatility in the next three or four days with the FTSE 100 possible going down to 2003 levels of 3282."
Unfortunately, Mr. Buik raised as many questions as he'd answered for me. What is wrong with 2003 levels? Where can I get one of these banking rescue packages? Who is Bear Stearns, and why was he killed?
I am off now to seek out some answers from the Navajo Indians – possibly from Navajo Joe himself (http://www.navajojoe.co.uk/). Wish me luck!
Just a quick message, but a message with a point. And that point is Friday 3rd October, Nambucca, London.
Why?
Well because your favourite band is playing there. No, not The Pipettes, but close - the arguably superior Silent Alliance, charming indie hipsters and all-round good guys. And a good girl.
Nambucca is equidistant between Archway Tube and Holloway Tube, and also opposite popular Irish pub the Quays, home, I assume, to sailors and other outlandish seafaring types. Why not go in their first and order up a Mariner's Revenge?
But whatever you do, make sure to be at Nambucca by 8.30, else all will be in vain. Especially you.
Are you getting the message yet?
Don't miss Silent Alliance's live return, this Friday at Nambucca.
And I'll leave you with a musical joke that a tramp told us on Sunday:
Why couldn't the drummer get into his house?
Because he had a hi-hat.
"It's another week!"
Yes, oh yes, the truth is undeniable.And so are we.We, being in the habit of being the band that sits before you, would like to thank everyone that has already purchased debut 7" 'Cities on Fire'.And to those of you that haven't, might I ask, what are you waiting for?Didn't we say it was 'limited edition'?No, because that's often a euphemism for low sales expectancy. Nevertheless, we'd recommend that you take the lead from J-WAVE radio and get a copy today, otherwise you'll turn up to our shows and everyone will know the words except you.And how embarrassing that would be for all concerned.
Anyway, on the back of this J-WAVE of euphoria sweeping the world of Silent Alliance, we've had gigs offers from all over the place, including dates soon to be scheduled in both Oxford and Cambridge.All we need now is an offer from Hull, and we'll have completed our tour of the UK's major academic hubs.
We're also playing hip indie venue Nambucca on October 3rd, which will be our first gig back after this brief hiatus, so be sure to keep checking www.silent-alliance.com for all the latest news, views and marginalist opinions.
And finally, I'm not in the habit of waxing lyrical about other rival unsigned bands… so I won't.
No nonsense in today's posting. Well, some nonsense maybe, but not much. Certainly no nonsense regarding the release of Silent Alliance's debut single 'Cities on Fire'. You can buy this pop masterpiece from Fastcut Records' myspace page. Take a look here:
http://www.myspace.com/fastcutjp
You might want to copy and paste the link, as myspace seems a bit anal about external content. But rest assured, if you do copy and paste the link, it could be one of the greatest things you do all year.
And that is all
KP's in charge and all is well, as we look to board the SS SA and set sail for seas of greatness. And water. Yes, as England take command of the third one-day international, my mind is firmly off-land, and firmly set on recruiting a manager, as I may have mentioned in a previous posting. But that was then, and this is the sea. I'd originally intended to blog this time on Otto Von Bismarck, but that'll have to wait for another time – you see, word has it that our single is pressed, sounding good, and ready to hit the Japanese streets, rather like that TV advert for The Sun where hot chicks drop footballs from helicopters and everyone rejoices. But with vinyl.
http://www.retrojunk.com/tv/videos/221-wizbit/2860/intro
The band is currently looking to secure a couple of September shows, and possibly a couple more in October too. The ultimate aim is to play shows. That said, it's been a bit of a challenge what with homelessness, the Olympic handover (including Boris's humanitarian stand against being forced to button up jackets) and knife crime. Did you know that more than one in every two people owns a knife? Also, did you see that story in German about the possibility of banning the toys from Kinder Eggs because it's a potential health hazard? I am in favour of state-assisted help and support for parents (and indeed, state-assisted suicide) but sometimes you have to draw a line in the sand. Literally. And if you have no sand, the you'd better get to the seaside. Which is where I would be, if I were on land.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZzHfys-7IAY
I had a dream last night about a girl I used to go to school with – we sat next to each other in maths and developed a good friendship. She was behind me in the queue to get our GCSE results, and the first person I hugged when I found out I'd passed them all. Later, that night while a lot of my associates were out drinking themselves into a stupor, I went for a walk with her instead. We went to see James, REM and the Twilight Singers together – all tremendously poignant moments in my life. Once we got up at 5am to go into Manchester and queue for free tickets to a Radio One music festival – it was brilliant.
She was one of those people… you know, the sort that, for some reason or other, you always end up experiencing the 'big' moments in life with. I haven't seen her in several years now, and can't seem to locate her online, which is a great shame. If I ever succeed in achieving any moderate level of fame, I fully intend to abuse my position in order to track her down and re-instigate contact.
And the moral of that tale? Look before you leap.
When all of the hairs on the back of your neck stand on end, it can only mean one thing.
Hello.
Silent Alliance has been on a sort of a holiday-type thing for the last couple of weeks, reinvigorating its pores and gearing itself up for a major bloodbath come September. The album artwork is mostly sorted, initial playbacks have been very positive, and there's a general 'good feeling' in the air (not to be confused with smog). It's looking increasingly likely that the album will have limited UK availability at this early stage, and we'll be posting further details as and when they emerge, so keep checking back – it could be the first useful piece of information ever to appear on this esteemed dung hill.
Of course, the downside of having a bit of a break is that there isn't all that much to update you on. I'd like to re-read Huck Finn but I just haven't had the time. More than re-reading it, I'd very much like to sail down a river of my own, on a raft of my own, with a slave of my own. But before I go all Sebb Blatter on you, let's turn to the band.
Band?
Yes, Silent Alliance is advertising for a manager, so if you're a manager, we're advertising for you. Please come on down to the shack and sell us your soul. Ideally, we're looking for a person with the business acumen and political nous to industrialise a band that has fallen at least 100 years behind the West; a person with a clear vision and a five-year plan; a person that applauds the efforts of the hard-working miner and denounces the greed of the independent farmer; a person capable of curbing the band's internal disputes and purging its unruly elements. Should we find such an individual, then Giles will clearly be in big trouble.
Полюшко-поле, полюшко, широко поле,
Eдут по полю герои,
Эх, да красной армии герои.
Девушки плачут,
Девушкам сегодня грустно,
Милый надолго уехал,
Эх, да милый в армию уехал.
A couple of weeks ago I had an interesting conversation with a friend regarding 'Best Of' collections. She claimed that if you didn't have a 'Best Of Bowie' in your CD collection that you were a moron. She also claimed that this applied equally to Bob Dylan, Bruce Springsteen, Prince, Michael Jackson and Fleetwood Mac. Finally, she claimed that her favourite Fleetwood Mac song today is Seven Wonders.
Now I have no wish to dispute the latter of these claims. However, I am unconvinced about the 'Best Of' argument, for it presupposes that a 'Best Of' is the most accurate representation of the artist in question. A single album or CD-length collection of songs is rarely capable of telling a band's whole story, unless the band is unbelievably one-dimensional. Just look at Kate Bush's best of, ironically named 'The Whole Story', which conveniently overlooks the bulk of her zaniness and penchant for experimental 80s prog. If you're going to own one Kate Bush CD, much better to own 'Hounds of Love' and see how Running Up That Hill and Big Sky fit in alongside Hello Earth and Waking The Witch, the latter of which is completely insane.
How about Springsteen then? Well, if you buy the 1995 'Greatest Hits' CD, you get the almost entirely unmemorable 'Murder Incorporated', 'Blood Brothers' and 'This Hard Land' tagged on the end, while The Boss's defining record 'Born to Run' is represented only by the title track and 'Thunder Road'. Furthermore, the (almost) equally brilliant 'The Wild, The Innocent and The E-Street Shuffle' isn't represented at all!
Now I'm not suggesting that 'Born to Run' sums up Springsteen's career – after all, 'Born in the USA' sold more, while 'Nebraska', 'The River' and 'Tunnel of Love' are each completely different in musical style. But if you are going to buy just one album by the great man, you should probably go with reputation, with the critics, with the greatest albums of all time lists… Otherwise, the first half-intelligent music fan to browse your CD collection will immediately ask you why on Earth you don't own it!
The same goes for Prince. 'Purple Rain' and 'Sign O The Times' win out over a 'Best Of' any day. Dylan is a bit more complicated, because even after you've bought 'Blonde on Blonde', 'Highway 61 Revisited', 'Blood On The Tracks' and 'Bringing It All Back Home', a Dylanologist will simply shrug and present you with a list of 20 further essential albums. But still, a lot of that is down to the fact that Dylanologists are weird.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that if you don't own a 'Best Of Bowie', you're clearly missing out on some of the greatest music of all time – and some people, like my friend, would argue that this makes you a moron (unless you're deaf). But I'm not sure that owning a bunch of 'Best Ofs' is really any better. In fact I think it may actually be worse.
I mean, supposing you don't like Bowie. This suggests you don't have good taste, but it doesn't make you a moron, and it entirely justifies not owning his 'Best Of'. Whereas, if you do own the 'Best Of', and you enjoy it, then it begs the question of why you haven't bothered to go out and buy anything else. 'Hunky Dory', 'Ziggy Stardust', 'Aladdin Sane', 'Station To Station', 'Low' and 'Scary Monsters' all regularly receive five stars in retrospective reviews, yet you're sat at home, perfectly content to stick on your 'Best Of' and listen to Dancing In the Street with Mick f****g Jagger for the 30th time!
To me, this implies that you're not much of a music fan. In contrast, the person that doesn't own the 'Best Of Bowie', but owns every CD by Nas, Ludacris, Usher, and 50 other R&B/rap artists has every right to be considered a music fan, even if I completely disagree with their choice of music and will doubtless be forced to kill them if they threaten to play it me.
Now I don't know whether this viewpoint is shared by you, the blog-reading public. But I do know one thing… Seven Wonders is NO WAY the best Fleetwood Mac song.
"I was re-evaluating Dylan.
"Go on."
"Well I mean, the guy can't sing."
"Not only are you wrong, but you also sound like you don't know what you're talking about."
"In what sense?"
"Well I can appreciate people criticising Dylan. And the people that know Dylan and understand Dylan are within their rights to criticise, if they so wish. But the guy can sing - there's a ridiculous amount of evidence to support this across his back-catalogue. People that say he can't sing are basically admitting that they haven't bothered to listen properly."
"Oh."
"Exactly."
"But come on - I followed the advice, I read the reviews, I bought Blonde on Blonde, and..."
"And?"
"I don't get it."
"Elaborate."
"I mean – what the hell is a leopard-skin pillbox hat?!"
"Err, well in the simplest terms, it's a hat."
"Really?"
"Yeah – can't you imagine what it would look like?"
"No."
"I think the lyrics evoke the image of it brilliantly."
"I don't get why this guy is such a genius if all he's singing about is a hat."
"It's more than just the hat… and even if it was just the hat, there are still some fabulous lines… 'You know it balances on your head just like a mattress balances on a bottle of wine' – amazing."
"Why exactly is that genius?"
"Just think about what he's trying to say."
"I am doing… and it's stupid – a mattress would never balance on a bottle of wine. Clearly it would fall off."
"But that's precisely the point!"
"Well why couldn't he just have sung that instead?"
"You mean, 'Well, I see you got your brand new leopard-skin pill-box hat… it doesn't balance on your head'?"
"Err… yeah."
"One suspects that if he'd sung your line, he wouldn't now be referred to as the Poet Laureate of modern music."
"What does Laureate actually mean?"
"It err… I don't know. I think something Roman?"
"It makes me think of trees…"
"In what sense?"
"Like a 'Laureate tree' or something."
"So what would be the significance of calling someone Poet Laureate?"
"Well you know, cos of like, the tree of knowledge and stuff."
"Aren't you thinking of fountains?"
"Yeah maybe. So you think it's something to do with that then?"
"I think we should get back to Dylan."
"No, I'm fed up with talking about him. I mean, come on – the guy's so old!"
"Meaning?"
"Well, he's one of those guys that are held in high esteem simply because they're still alive. It's nothing to do with the music anymore. These people just go on and on doing the same old thing, over and over and over and over, attracting the same audience every single time, except that each time everyone is a little bit older and sadder. Much better to be like John Lennon."
"In what sense?"
"Well he went out with a bang."
"He was shot."
"Yes but because of that, he didn't have to get old."
"So you're saying that we should kill more musicians when they reach middle age?"
"Not kill them, no… but you know… 'retire' them."
"I'm not sure I follow."
"Just make sure they can't do anything musical anymore… remove their vocal chords or something."
"Seems a bit rash. And besides, if you start taking such actions, surely there's a strong case for giving younger singers the same treatment? James Blunt for example… and pretty much everyone in R&B."
"Yeah, I'd go along with that. I think basically what I'm trying to say is that the music industry needs purging."
"Do you mean in terms of labels trimming the number of acts, raising the bar regarding new talent etc., or something more Soviet-style?"
"I guess, having given it careful thought... the latter."
"So the whole vocal chord removal thing?"
"Yeah, scrap that."
"Okay. I'll get the gun."
And so I can finally relax, allegedly. The album is done, as you may have gathered from my last outburst, and all is happy again in the Silent Alliance camp. Furthermore, our cat is safe, and frankly speaking, that's the most important thing.
So we're celebrating, and looking forward in earnest to our forthcoming return to Feeling Gloomy, the weekend after next. Sadly we won't have time to play the entire record to you, but we will try and play at least one song. In total.
It's perhaps no surprise that having worked so tirelessly over the past few months, I now find myself with very little to say. I am currently listening to Scarlett Johansson's record for the first time. Track one was a relatively good instrumental, and now I'm waiting for track two to kick in. And now it has - it's an electric piano led slow based ethereal minor key type thing. Wow, her voice is quite low - I wasn't expecting that.
You know what? I think I'd better leave...
Breaking with my usual bi-weekly blogging schedule, to let you all know that Silent Alliance's debut album is finally complete...
Stick that in your pipe and smoke it Mugabe!
"Don't keep me up another night!" Tom cried in earnest to his fellow musicians. But it was no good – they couldn't hear him anymore. They were dead.
A brief extract from the forthcoming Silent Alliance biography, 'Silent Alliance: a group with nothing to say'. We're currently suing the author, the publishers, and the publishers' families, but I didn't think that should prevent you, the public, from enjoying one of the engaging and factually accurate commentaries contained within the book.
Anyway, it's been a good fortnight by anyone's standards. And by our standards? It's been a bad fortnight. However, after encountering innumerable recording difficulties, which caused us to drop the baton for a while, we've now regained our composure, grown new limbs and returned to the race. Lo and behold, I think I can even see the finishing line! Yes! Yes I can! It says "POLICE LINE DO NOT CROSS".
I'd estimate that seven of the ten tracks of the forthcoming Silent Alliance debut album are now complete. I won't give too much away, but we're currently suing the musicians, the musicians' families, and NASA (this is an unrelated case, mind). Sadly, with the exception of July's Feeling Gloomy show, things are a little quieter on the gigging front since the younger Kirkham departed to Manchester for the summer, and our acoustic concert on the moon was unexpectedly cancelled. On a positive note, our 42 night residency at Scotland Yard is looking ever more likely by the day.
I was actually stopped by a police car last week on the way to the Avril gig, for throwing a football over a wall (back to where it had come from, in fact). True story. I guess the policeman thought it was a bomb or something. These are paranoid times indeed – I must confess I look over my shoulder every three seconds or less to check for terrorists. If anyone can provide me with some sort of terrorist-radar, that would be greatly appreciated. Failing that, I'll accept a barn owl.
On that note then, it's time to make good my promise of a few weeks previous and reveal the tracklisting for the Silent Alliance album (for which we're now being sued).
The album is called 'The Spirit Of An Age To Come', and full release details will be available shortly on the news page of our website. The tracklisting is as follows:
1) Degrees Of Separation
2) Hollow Talk
3) Brighter Days
4) Permafrost
5) Sundown
6) Fall Into Detachment
7) Whispers
8) The Edge Of Town
9) Cities On Fire
10) December Eyes
Exciting, paranoid times. But enough of that, I must fly – I have an appointment in court.
In these despairing times, I often wonder whether life might have been more bearable in the middle ages, in ancient Egypt, or possibly going back further, in prehistoric times. And then I turn to the bottle…
And it says, "Don't think about the past, for the past you cannot control, and thus you fear, like the coming of knives, or the rising of the Stork. Think instead to the future, and remember – your destiny is in your own hands… and feet."
Then everything is well again.
Please don't think that, like the makers of Look Who's Talking Now, I've run out of ideas. I merely wanted a slight distraction before getting down to business… But there you go. Album, single, b-side, c-side mixing continues on – still with only the smallest glimmer of light at the end of the tunnel. The pressure's on, as they say, when the pressure is on. Our plans to get artwork completed and sent off to the design company are currently being scuppered by the unreliability of the English summer, and our plans to actually finish the damn songs have become complicated by unusual frequency issues, the likes of which I don't really understand. Still, at least the sleeve notes are done. Hopefully by the next time I ramble at you, there'll be a proper and more joyous progress update.
It doesn't really get better on the gig front either, given that our last gig was cancelled! To all of the people that followed my advice on the last blog and joined us at Vibe Bar, I apologise with all my heart… and feet. Still, I've been informed that we may be playing at Covent Garden's garden of rocks, the Rock Garden, this Sunday afternoon. Further details – I've no idea. My recommendation would be to turn up and hope for the best… and if you can't hope, pray… and if you can't pray, beg for mercy… and if you can't beg for mercy, well then I don't fancy your chances in Boris Town…
That's just about all for Silent Alliance this time. I leave you and your feet with one final proclamation:
"Blessed are the sheep, for they shall inherit the grass."
http://www.silent-alliance.com
Should I continue where I left off?
Perhaps not, for it seems that the city is not yet on fire. And nor am I. So let's return to the merrier subject of the fabled band, and it's fabled album recording. Or single recording, as is the more pressing priority. Yes, your favourite whiskey-sippers Silent Alliance will shortly be releasing double a-side Brighter Days/Hollow Talk. At this stage, the record will be available on 7-inch only, in Japanese record stores, and quite possibly online too... But I'm sure if you want to hear it, it will be able to find you. Such is the way of things.
Both tracks are of course set to appear on the Silent Alliance debut album, which does have a name (though I'm not telling you it), and will hopefully be complete in the next three weeks. It's exciting times - so exciting that I can even reveal the tracklisting to you.
But I won't.
It's a mixture of darkness and light (no Guiness though), of different cultures, different views, and possibly Chinese University choirs too (this is yet to be voted on). To paraphrase Brian Clough, it's not the best debut album ever, but it's certainly in the top one. And it's coming your way soon, believe you me. Or if you don't believe you me, believe Fast Cut records, who will be furious if we don't deliver something shortly!
The bandwagon careers steadily on, with recent gigs proving a mixture of the good (Feeling Gloomy), the bad (last week at 333 Basement, because of various technical difficulties), and the ugly (tbc). If you can make it to Vibe Bar on trendy Brick Lane this Thursday, then please, by all means, make it.
MAKE IT!
I'd like to thank all of you dedicated blog viewers for continuing to dedicate your blog viewing time to this thing we call the blog. I'd applaud you, but I don't have any hands.
http://www.silent-alliance.com
And like that, he's gone...
Oh happy day, I hear you sing, as the soot drips from your eye, and the raindrop falls upon your… thigh…
Yes, it's bank holiday weekend, and I for one will be celebrating it in a fit of tears, heartbreak, and dare I say it, heartbrake. For as Kate Bush once said, "Don't put your foot on the heartbrake". That she did.
However, quite aside from my heartbrake, almost all is well in the world of Silent Alliance (www.silent-alliance.net) – it's a week before our headlining slot at Feeling Gloomy, we have a new song called Whispers that sounds appropriately quiet (though I can assure you, it IS audible), and most importantly of all, the band have been accepted into the lofty world of private cocktail parties.
On the negative? Well, a moron has just been invited to come and run our beautiful city. Which is rarely good. Jesus - anyone that has a "watermelon smile" might as well run for the hills. Good Lord, what were people thinking?
Anyway, this is probably not the best placeto vent political rage, because as I said, all else is well in the Silent Alliance world. Let's rejoice in a climate of increasingly good music and increasingly good climate, yeah?
For some, a good gig is like a kick in the teeth. And it's safe to say that at last Saturday's Enterprise show, we kicked a lot of people in the teeth.
We also played a good gig.
Yes, our performance at the Enterprise was one of significant energy, enthusiasm and considerable volume, and it's no surprise that it has already been picked up by the Spanish music press. As progress on our debut album continues at increasing speed, the band has opted to concentrate on choosing setlists based solely around the tracks likely to make the cut, which means no more Departure and no more Explanations for the immediate future. And possibly no more Mull of Kintyre either (though we'll wait and see on that one).
I can reveal that set regulars Sundown, The Edge Of Town, Hollow Talk and Detachment are all likely to feature, alongside several other fan favourites. In fact, I may have revealed it before, but I can't remember – too many blogs, too little brain capacity. Besides, being a crisp entrepreneur has really taken its toll this past few weeks.
If you haven't already seen the talented Mr. Ybring's MySpace request for photography, please take note – we are looking for photography. The criteria is quite simple – it should involve the night, a street, street lights, and an interesting looking girl between the ages of 16 and 30. So far, we have not exactly been inundated with responses… Could it be that our fanbase is younger than 16?!!
A breaking news email has just arrived in my inbox: 'IBM proposes the death of flash memory and hard drives'. I bet you wish you were me.
It’s common knowledge that the braniacs at food flavouring companies can now come up with more or less any flavour they want. In fact, there’s an astonishing scene recalled in Fast Food Nation where the author (whose name temporarily escapes me) goes into a lab and is told by the food scientists to close his eyes. He then senses the presence of a delicious sizzling beef burger, only to find that it’s simply a mixture of flavourings they’ve wafted under his nose...
Yet despite our amazing advances in flavouring, crisps still stand out as the perennial underachievers in this area. Whether it’s beef, chicken, cheese and onion, etc. the taste sensation simply doesn’t come close to matching the real thing. This has become a commonly accepted fact, and the vast majority of consumers will now purchase these flavours knowing full-well that they don’t really compare to the food products they’re representing.
However, the same cannot necessarily be said of the high-end crisp market. I’m talking about the world of Sensations, Kettle Chips et al – the slow roasted lamb and mint, matured cheddar and red onion, and so forth and so forth. These crisps ARE designed to mimic the real thing, and in my humble opinion, they’re falling well short of the mark, representing only a tiny improvement over the traditional lowbrow crisps and failing to justify the increased price.
My point is that, given the unbelievable progress made in flavouring over the past few decades, if we can’t get these meal-flavoured crisps right now, we’re never going to get them right. It would be far more productive, and potentially more lucrative, to focus crisp development efforts in other areas.
For example. Instead of trying and failing to recreate dishes that are already commonplace, why not use crisps as a medium in which to allow people to enjoy tastes that they couldn’t normally experience?:
- Dog
- Cat
- Panda
- Polar Bear
- Lion
- Otter
You get the picture. There are hundreds of well-known animals out there that, at least in culinary terms, we are failing to take advantage of. Now, I’m not trying to suggest that all of these animals taste good (otter doesn’t sound particularly appetising), but the likelihood is that some of them must surely be delicious. In most cases, killing and eating these creatures is either illegal (panda), socially unacceptable (dog, cat), or extremely difficult (polar bear) – so why not use crisps instead?
All it would require is a recently deceased animal that the food scientists can work on in order to determine its flavour. Then you slice your potatoes, add the chemicals, and all of sudden everyone has the ability to enjoy the taste of roast polar bear, without destroying the planet or angering the WWF. I feel as though with enough support, I could revolutionise this flagging industry and open up a whole new world of snacking.
In other news, Silent Alliance is playing at the Enterprise in Camden on April 5th, and is returning to Islington’s BarAcademy for Feeling Gloomy on May 10th.
And so, we come to the end of another eventful week in the history of Silent Alliance.I can't name any specific events, but it certainly feels a bit of an epoch.However, while my own life is currently descending into Fatal Attraction territory, the same cannot be said for the band - collectively we felt a distinct lack of stalkers and obsessionals at our recent Old Blue Last gig.I am especially disappointed - where have those two random girls from our MySpace page disappeared to??They appeared at several of Mica gigs in 2006, and then, just as we were starting to build some momentum, and I was building up the necessary confidence to say hello, they promptly stopped turning up.Maybe they got confused when we changed our name?
Irritatingly, we're so much better than we were back then, but such is life... Random MySpace girls, if you are still out there, and reading this blog (someone must be!), please make your presence felt at the next Silent Alliance show.We miss you, like the deserts miss the rain...
Speaking of Everything But The Girl (we don't want to speak about the girl, Lord no), further progress has been made with our ongoing song mastering, and we honestly will be sharing the results with you in the near future.I know I keep saying that, but I'm sure at some point it'll cease to be a lie.In the meantime, I'm planning a special treat on the next mp3 mailout, providing that I don't forget.It's not a particularly good treat, but it is special nevertheless.
For all those of you that are wondering why we aren't playing in your neck of the woods more often, let me assure you, there are a number of tentative gig dates being discussed at the moment, a substantial proportion of which are likely to take place in forests and woodland areas.And if that's not good enough, well then you'd better just kill me...
Alex Forrest: You must have to be discreet.
Dan Gallagher: Oh, god yeah.
Alex Forrest: Are you?
Dan Gallagher: Am I what?
Alex Forrest: Discreet?
Dan Gallagher: Yes, I'm discreet.
Alex Forrest: Good. Me, too.
Sometimes the hardest thing for a man to do is to tell the truth.Which is why I'm predominantly going to spend the next couple of paragraphs telling lies.Silent Alliance, merry otters that we are, will be reconvening at the weekend after a lengthy break without live performancing. Rumour has it, Giles has broken his back, or something along those lines, which could prove problematic.Then again, so could rabies.
And the reason for this? A gig, or concert, or live showcase, if you will, next Thursday at the excellent 333 basement bar, a venue that rivals the new Wembley stadium in practically every sense of the word rival. Do turn up, if you're in Shoreditch that night.I can virtually guarantee that every paying guest will depart richer in spirit, as well as in wealth.And hopefully this time the ceiling won't leak.
Today is Philip's birthday, an event that seems to have caused him to go AWOL... For goodness sake man, are we going to see Rambo or not?!?Still, I'd like you to join me in celebrating.JOIN ME.
In terms of mastering, a subject I touched upon in my last vignette, or vinaigrette, if you will, we're three songs in, and still going strong.Sort of.How do the songs sound?Well, the only way I can describe them, frankly, is Glamour Puss.
That will do for now I think - less lies than anticipated, though I don't really feel any harder.
As January turns into February, and winter gloom turns into winter gloom lite (preceding spring gloom and summer gloom), one cannot help but feel a little chilled to the core. However, be thankful that Silent Alliance, and hopefully yourselves too, have made it through both the shortest day of the year and the most depressing day of the year (the one that has the stupidly high suicide rate) with our spirits intact. Now all we need face is the gut-wrenching misery and humiliation of Valentine's Day. Giles oh Giles - why dost thou love another in my place?
Still, that's a digression to say the least. And to say the most? It's enough to get me fired. Your humble narrator, and, dare I say it, guitarist, is already treading on thin ice (not literally), having forced the rest of the band to cancel the upcoming Popaganda show. He must now endeavour to make it up to the other guys, gals and shmalls, by travelling a good 15,000 miles home and mastering the Silent Alliance back-catalogue, so that it may be distributed to Japanese indie fans worldwide (but mostly in Japan). Yes, your humble band, and dare I say it, band, has been offered a small distribution deal in Japan, honorary home of Shampoo (the band, not the shampoo) and Ace of Bace. It is encouraging to know that we will be in good company.
Fingers crossed, your humble narrator will make reasonably speedy progress, so that we might share our HD sounds with you before the summer gloom is upon us. On another note, I'd like to do a rare thing (for this blog at any rate) and endorse The Pipettes, heard by my pretty ears for the first time last week, and for whom I am now positively insane. In fact, such is my state of lunacy that I am inclined to cut short this blog and google them...
Bye...
The new year is a time for reflection, for resolution, and in some cases, for repentance. It's a time when we try to put a leaf between the bad moments that may or may not have occurred during the previous twelve months, and set out our goals, strategies, and indeed, stratagems, for the year ahead. For where leaves doth fall, trees doth grow – as the old saying goes.
Thankfully for Silent Alliance, those unfortunate 'need-for-leaf' moments are few and far between. 2007 was a year of significant joy, success, and gnashing of teeth (but in a good way). My personal SA highlights were, in no particular order:
– Oxford Cellar gig
– 333 Basement roof leaking on audience
– Giles breaking hand
– Band day out at Seaworld (may have dreamt this one)
The challenge will be to repeat and build on these successes in 2008. First stop is the recording of the new demo, which has frankly, taken frankly too long. And speaking frankly, I can only assign myself 23 percent of the guilt on this occasion - and that's generous. Nevertheless, everything should be wrapped up by Sunday, and, once we've unwrapped it again, we'll unleash it on the world. I won't give too much away at this stage, other than to say that cities will truly be on fire, and the days will truly be brighter (largely due to the amount of cities on fire). Yes, our Pudding Lane-themed three-track is going to be hot, rather like that song about the girls that take off their clothes because it's getting hot, only with cities instead of girls.
I'm going to have to cut short this blog now in order to check for the latest Britney news - today's reports claim she's been rushed into hospital following some sort of dispute with the police over her kids. What Britney needs to do now is take the time to reflect, to resolve, and to repent. She must cast a leaf, an anchor if you will, into the soily ground, and pray that a new tree, a ship if you will, will rise from it and carry her to safety and asylum. And as she sails, I offer her this sonnet (though it's not actually a sonnet), penned from the lips of another emotionally crazed drug addict:
In a vision once I saw:
It was an Abyssinian maid,
And on her dulcimer she played,
Singing of Mount Abora.
Could I revive within me
Her symphony and song,
To such a deep delight 'twould win me,
That with music loud and long,
I would build that dome in air,
That sunny dome! those caves of ice!
And all who heard should see them there,
And all should cry, Beware! Beware!
His flashing eyes, his floating hair!
Weave a circle round him thrice,
And close your eyes with holy dread,
For he on honey-dew hath fed,
And drunk the milk of Paradise.
The year is nearly at a close, so it seems altogether fitting and appropriate to take a brief look back at the events that defined 2007 for Silent Alliance. However, as you know, this blog is neither fitting nor appropriate, so instead we're going to examine ten interesting facts about dolphins.
1) Dolphins have to be conscious to breath, meaning they cannot go into a full deep sleep – this would cause suffocation. Dolphins have overcome this issue by letting one half of their brain (and one eye) sleep at a time.
2) While there is no reliable method of measuring intelligence across different species, we do know that dolphins are fast learners and can generalise (which is also true of pigs). Furthermore, they can learn to understand complicated language-like commands (which is also true of the great apes).
3) Bottlenose dolphins eat several kinds of fish (including mullet, mackerel, herring, cod) and squid. On average an adult dolphin will eat 4-9 percent of its body weight in fish, so a 250 kg (550 lb) dolphin will eat 10-22.5 kg (22-50 lb) fish per day.
4) The maximum age for bottlenose dolphins is between 40 and 50 years.
5) The deepest dive ever recorded for a bottlenose dolphin was a 300 meters (990 feet).
6) Many bottlenose dolphins live in fairly shallow water – sometimes less than 2 meters (7 feet) deep.
7) Most dolphins live in the ocean, however ocean water is too salty for them to drink. They therefore live as desert animals with no direct source of drinkable water.
8) Like a bat, dolphins use echolocation to navigate and hunt, bouncing high-pitched sounds off of objects, and listening for the echoes.
9) Baby dolphins are sucked forward by the motion of their swimming mothers – giving them a needed assist – when they position themselves to the right and behind their mothers.
10) Because the spinner dolphin swims with the yellowfin tuna, it has been slaughtered by the hundreds of thousands in the purse-seine tuna fisheries, which has produced the controversy that led to the enactment of national and international laws for dolphin friendly tuna.
Now I'm not a cruel man…
Seriously, it's been a great year for the band, and an even greater year for fans of the band (I assume). One can only hope that 2008 brings further success. All that's left now is to reveal the results of the 2007 Silent Alliance fan poll:
- Philip has been voted most likely to shave
- Giles has been voted most deadly
- Philip and Alex are tied for worst punctuality
- Lewis has been voted
- Natalie has been voted most popular (suggesting that a number of Silent Alliance fans may be suffering from memory-retention difficulties)
- Lewis has been voted most likely to remove his own knees
- Tom has been voted most deadly
- Alex has been voted most owl-inspired
- Philip has been voted most likely to start a Communist uprising (possibly based on comments made at a recent 333 gig)
- Giles has been voted cowardly bullfighter of the year
- Tom has been voted most effective dolphin slayer
- Lewis has been voted most deadly
Laterz…
When there's a chill in the air, and a dark in the night… a frown upon the faces of the cattle and wildebeest, and a fear in the hearts of the simple townsfolk with their demented faces and pointed hats… a rattling of the infants' cages, and an eerie silence where once a church did gallivant … a shutting of doors and a shuttering of shutters… a bolting of bolts and horses, and a fleeing of fleas…it can only mean one thing…
Voldemort.
No, in all seriousness, we at Silent Alliance are unconcerned about He Who Must Not Be Named, for we have a greater, more malignant enemy – He Who Must Also Refrain From Being Named.
But while we all live in mortal fear and, dare I say it, envy, of Giles, more pressing is the need to finish mixing Brighter Days and Cities on Fire, both of which have been in varying states of completion for the past couple of weeks.It's been a challenging experience, made all the more challenging by the challenge involved.Still, I can confidently say, with all confidence, that I am confident we are close… The Truth Is Out There, to put it another way.
And as Mulder once declared, "Scully…" so too do we declare, "Ybring, where is our next gig?"
And in response, Ybring, with his robes of transplendent mahogany, his crown of angels and his golden lyre, replies, "Look not for the Cuban Bar, for it is a place of sin"… to which we reply, "Why is it a place of sin?"… to which he replies, "Because, says I, it is booked on the next Wednesday of next week"… to which, says we, "Says we, why is it booked on the next Wednesday of next week?"… to which Ybring, in his gown of solid rock, declares, "Alas, I declare, says I declare that cannot I be not answering that 'til whence has been and gone the next full moon"… to which our melancholic response, echoing throughout the room, echoes, "What then must we do instead, or indeed, insteed?"… to which Ybring, in his monogram spectacles and carbon-neutral suitcase, gestures, "Fingers crossed, the Motherbar at 333 may accommodate thee, and indeed, us…"
The outcome of which means that our next, and in all probability final gig of 2007, remains on tenterhooks, which we, the alleged band, remain firmly rooted in the mire of insecurity.Still, at any rate, I can still promise you that The Truth Is Out There… and if it isn't, then neither are we.
There's a fundamental problem with life…
… and that problem, is me.
It has been a healthy fortnight for Silent Alliance (the other SA) – we have impressed all in Oxford, and endured a lengthy recording session without resorting to physical violence.Admittedly, Alex beat the shit out of Lewis, but then, who doesn't?
Anyway, we'd really like to thank everyone that came to the Oxford gig, and cheered for our non-ironic melancholic minor key pop cover.We had a fabulous evening and want to return to y'all very soon, if not tomorrow.
But not tomorrow…
If you're hanging around University College London tomorrow, either as student, lecturer, or lecher, you may want to pick up the student rag (not literally), as it contains an article on this humble band, as well as a scathing review of the latest Hard-Fi single.Also, check our MySpace for the latest gig dates, which include the latest dates that we'll be playing gigs.Worth staying up for I assure you.And your parents.
And just like that… he's gone.
There are many questions in life that occupy the minds of the masses on a regular basis:
1 Where is my next meal coming from?
2 What is the meaning of life?
3 When is Silent Alliance next coming to a town near me?
Yes, these are the eternal conundrums - the quandries as old as the heavens, that, should they be contemplated, have the power to unnerve, unhinge and overpower the philosophers, the theorists, the scientists, the intellectuals, and possibly even the dolphins. Still, at least in the case of the latter, it would be good news for our nation's cats (and philosophers).
Here at Silent Alliance Central, we believe in dolphins - though not in the biblical sense. I for one, have never seen a tin of tuna behaving in a friendly manner towards a dolphin. Unlikely the tuna tin, we understand the dolphins' affinity to man and machine, to land and sea, to night and day, to Black and Decker, to Lloyd and Grossman, to tuna and tin.
On another note, we're going to be playing at the Cellar Bar in Oxford next Tuesday night, having formed a (silent) alliance with the Oxford Indie Music Society. If you're in the area, you may want to consider coming along. It won't help you understand the meaning of life, but it may well answer question 1 (we're slaying a couple of dolphins at the after-show).
Thanks to all, wild and fowl, that came to Kilburn last Thursday, where Silent Alliance entertained, primarily by playing songs such as Brighter Days, Cities on Fire, and seminal Live anthem 'The Dolphin's Cry'. Or not, because that would have been awful.
According to the World Wildlife Fund, the ten most endangered animals in the world are:
Tiger
Porbeagle
Sawfish
Spiny dogfish
Red and pink coral
Asian rhinos
European eel
Elephants
Great apes
Bigleaf mahogany
If I'd known beforehand, I would never have eaten that Sumatran rhino for breakfast - oh I am fortune's fool!
Oh dear oh dear, so long without blogging. So much to tell, so little not to tell. It's been a mad mad few months in the mad mad world of Silent Alliance. In fact, there's been so much madness that Philip is in danger of turning into Suggs. If this happens, we will of course kill him.
So, where to start? Well, Silent Alliance has a new guitarist, who provides access to an entirely new generation/pool/stream/gaggle of potential fans. Or rather, he does in theory, and we're all rather hoping he'll deliver on this. If he doesn't, we will of course kill him.
There are new songs aplenty, making for a more varied, and dare I say it, ambitious set, including the notably ambitious 'Brighter Days', and the notably varied 'Cities On Fire'. There is even an mp3 mailing list for those that want to join, so if you would like to join, please, join. If you don't, we will of course kill you...
No, I take that back. We wouldn't kill a Silent Alliance fan (again).
So, back to the news (of the non-Huey Lewis variety). Most importantly, there is a gig tonight, at the good ship that is... The Good Ship. This particular ship, or bar if you prefer, is in Kilburn, not far from the tube, so for those that want to come along, please, come along.
And before I trespass further on your nerves, I'd like to own up to my recent relapse.
I'd like to, but I won't.
First let me apologise for my regrettable absence. I have, regrettably, been absent, and I am apologetic about it. However, let me assure you that while substantial parts of the London indie scene are in the middle of a summer siesta, Silent Alliance has been keeping busy, amongst other things producing music for a short film entitled 'Jonah and the Whale'.
The film tells the tale of a hapless loner who engages in a series of ill-conceived attempts to commit suicide during his 25th birthday party, and features classic Silent Alliance tracks 'Explanations' and 'The Edge of Town' alongside hidden unreleased gems 'Homesick and Lovesick', 'Wounds That Have Been Glued', as well as a rare outing for the cult 'Hook or Crook' remix of 'For A Moment I Thought I Was In Denmark'.
Sadly, several whales were harmed during the making of the film (one of the drawbacks of using harpoon-bearing mariners as extras), but thankfully, Silent Alliance lives on. Apart from Giles, who has been harpooned. Anyway, we're hoping that Jonah and the Whale will be transferred to the miracle that is YouTube in the near future - in the meantime, you'll just have to close your eyes and imagine what it's like (just think harpoons).
In other news, the band is all set to play at Camden's Cuban Bar next Wednesday. Rumour has it that Castro himself is scheduled to attend. But then, rumour is most often incorrect, particularly when Castro is concerned (he's in good health I tells ya!). Still, anyone reading his newspaper column will at least be able to comfort themselves with the knowledge that they can read.
The band is working on some new material for this gig and beyond, which is so far taking more of minor-key approach, in keeping with the dismal British summer to date. And that's really all I have to say, apart from directing your attention to this:
Now, I believe in miracles, and a miracle has happened tonight.
Oh that it were the truth. Sadly it's early afternoon on a grey Wednesday, and the only thing to be optimistic about is the new Silent Alliance song that is very much on the cards for Friday night. Now all we have to do is retrieve those cards, and we're on easy street. Not literally.
The band are wild with excitement about Friday (not literally), due to their being regular Nambucca-goers. Yes that's right, you've surely seen us there in recent months, propping up the bar. Not literally. Anyway, it's the sort of happening place that you trendy indie-rock types really ought to spend more time frequenting, before possibly checking out one of the late night off licences around Archway, or heading further up the road to suicide bridge and our old house.
Perhaps less importantly, who is Amy Winehouse, and why is she in the free London papers every day? Not literally. When did I become so out of touch with the music scene? Why can't Lindsay Lohan stay off the sauce? Why did the Kate Moss fashion collection sell out so quickly in the high street, only to fetch minimal auction prices over eBay? WHAT HAS BECOME OF ME?
Note: this is not a cry for help. As the subject of this blog indicates, it ain't too much for me... to err... Jam... It ain't too much stuff, it ain't too much, it ain't too much for me to jam, it ain't, it ain't too much stuff, it ain't, don't you, it ain't too much for me to...
Before I lose my mind completely, another reminder about Friday's show at Nambucca. And with that I say...
Jam JamHere Comes The ManHot DamnThe Big Boy StandsMovin' Up A HandMakin' Funky TracksWith My ManMichael JacksonSmooth CriminalThat's The ManMike's So RelaxedMingle Mingle JingleIn The JungleBum Rushed The Door3 And 4's In A BundleExecute The PlanFirst I Cooled Like A FanGot With JanetThen With GuyNow With MichaelCause It Ain't Hard To...Apologies for my absence. I'm not entirely sure I've been missed, but that's no excuse, and I readily accept that I may be torn limb from limb and devoured by rampaging Silent Alliance blog readers, at some point in the near future. Possibly tomorrow.
Anyway, thank you to everyone that turned up at Feeling Gloomy - we all had an upbeat time, and there was next to no violence. The evening was positively badgerous. Silent Alliance is taking a short break at the moment, to regroup, finish the website, learn how to play the songs again, and just generally lark about for a bit. The band will return (hopefully) in triumphant style in June at Nambucca, the trendiest nightspot in all of Holloway. Actually, make that the only trendy nightspot in all of Holloway.
It's nice to see Sophie Ellis Bextor making a return to the pop scene, after several years away, and following a tremendously disappointing second album. I have been accused at various points in my life of having dubious taste in music, but even I found the record unbearable. Anyway, check out her reviews in the Times and Guardian today - the music scene is in desperate need of some proper pop stars, particularly ones with strangely shaped heads.
I sincerely hope the paragraph above hasn't lost us any fans.
It's been a bright week in terms of weather, and brightness in general. And now, as the weekend approaches, Silent Alliance fans can look forward to a Silent Alliance show by Silent Alliance at 333 Mother Bar in Shoreditch – a hip, happening venue with an ear for fine music. Possibly multiple ears. In the near future they can also look forward to a new Silent Alliance website, which promises to contain all of the content currently featured on MySpace. And possibly more.
It was our good drummer Giles's birthday yesterday - we wish him all the best, and hope that he still has a job this morning. It was certainly interesting to discover that if Silent Alliance ever achieves international stardom, Giles intends to settle down and live in holy matrimony with Sir Ian Holm. Has Ian Holm been knighted? I don't know. More importantly, didn't Thora Hird die a few years back? If anyone can confirm or deny this, please do get in touch.
In other news, the band have been experimenting with click-tracks and pre-recorded synths, and should be in a position to debut some of the new sounds on Saturday. It could even prove possible to play long-lost classics If I Could Guilt You and Transylvania at some stage. Who knows?
Seriously, who knows? I haven't a clue, and I'm supposed to be an important (some would even say pivotal) member of the band. Others would probably beg to differ. Anyway, I'd like to conclude by thanking our Archway Tavern support band 'Fat Oasis' and congratulating them on a fine performance. I particularly liked it when their guitarist shouted 'Fuck You All' to the audience, following the completion of the band's second song. Later in the set, he dedicated a song to the entire crowd.
Has anyone noticed that if you remove the 'd' from crowd, you get crow?
Later in the set, he dedicated a song to the entire crow...
NOTICE
PERSONS attempting to find a motive in this narrative will be prosecuted; persons attempting to find a moral in it will be banished; persons attempting to find a plot in it will be shot.
BY ORDER OF THE AUTHOR,
Per G.G., Chief of Ordnance.
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The world's tallest man has found love, Mr Bean has topped the UK box office, and the Silent Alliance bandwagon rolls merrily on, gathering no moss, and sadly, no Kate Moss. And at the centre of that bandwagon, this humble blog, which I like to think has obtained something of a cult following over the past twelve months. This is of course completely without foundations.
But anyway, thanks to all who came to Metro, and advance praises for those intending to visit the band at 93 Feet East tomorrow night. You're arguably in for the ride of your life.
The gig calendar is alight once more (not literally, as this would be catastrophic), with a variety of north London gigs planned in the next couple of months. Does Silent Alliance have any plans to venture to south London? How long is a piece of string? Enough with these meaningless questions.
One discussion I've had over the last couple of weeks concerns merchandising, not an area that Silent Alliance has traditionally been strong in. The possibility of selling CDs and t-shirts at shows may become a reality sooner than you think, provided there is some agreement on designs. Personally, I'm in favour of t-shirts that say 'Giles' in big letters, but since when has anyone listened to my opinion?
Apparently the wife of the world's tallest man is two thirds his size.
So I'm there in the queue at WHSmith Kings X branch, and I get to the counter and place my two books in front of the cashier (Will Self's 'Book of Dave' and 'Everyman' by Philip Roth), and lo and behold, she tries to charge me £14.98. "No," says I, "They're from the buy one get the other half price offer." She scowls at me and informs me that "only one of them has a sticker on it." "I care not," says I, "For both have clearly come from the marked pile over yonder". At this juncture I point in the direction of the marked pile over yonder. She scowls once more and tells me she is sorry, "but unless you produce a copy that has a sticker on it, you aren't entitled to the discount". At this point I remove an ageing Walther MKb-42 assault rifle from my bag and shoot her through the heart.
I was listening to the first ever recorded Silent Alliance material last night. And I thought to myself, "Wow, we've really come on leaps and bounds since the beginning - this actually sounds like a completely different band". Then I realised I'd put the wrong CD in my stereo, and it was indeed a completely different band.
See you tomorrow...
Hmm. In the news today Simon Cowell claims he's bigger than Springsteen and should be paid five times more money. Only problem is, he's a twat.
So, as Giles recovers from his hand injury, Silent Alliance gears up once more for some heavy duty dancing and romancing. Regulars to this neck of the MySpace wood may notice that there are quite a few gigs coming up over the next month, and we intend to harness a couple more, so there'll be plenty of opportunities to catch us in action. Or out of it, if you prefer.
You may also notice some pictures on our page. Furthermore, you may notice that they're pretty damn good. I'd like to take the credit... and I will.
What else is new? Well, there's a new website on the way for us (hopefully), which should provide you with the fully authorised inside heard-it-here-first story of Silent Alliance. Doubtless most of it will be heavily plagarised. The possibility of some sort of live(ish) recording still remains, and the possibility of selling it at our shows remains to an equal extent, though obviously I can't help but feel that the latter is somehow largely dependent on the former. Or possibly not - who knows what the general public will buy these days? Apart from market research types...
The band's new management is in Texas, doubtless negotiating on our behalf some sort of real estate deal over a ranch. And more important still, Avril has a new album out in a month or so, which if my guess is correct, will be the best damn thing. Anyway, I'm off to go strangle a python, so...
What do you do when your drummer breaks his hand on the morning of a show? Do you panic? Leap for joy? Kill a duck? Attack a schoolchild?
No. Having wisely ignored the advice of the Def Leopard Crisis Management handbook, Silent Alliance made a call to the promoter apologising, and the New Cross gig will hopefully be rescheduled in the near future. Obviously not the too near future, because Giles's hand will still be broken. There's little else to be said on the matter, other than to say that there's little else to be said on the matter.
So, it's the first 'sticky' patch of 2007 for a band very much on the up. Word has it Silent Alliance will be returning to 93 Feet East within the month, and headlining the hugely successful Feeling Gloomy once more in May. Nothing officially confirmed, but needless to say, the rumours and subsequent pressure on the promoters start here.
There's little doubt that the power of MySpace is continuing to grow, with news reports today indicating that fewer than one in ten young people still bother maintaining a diary, compared to 47 percent that admit to regular blogging. I must confess that I'm dead against this new preference towards young people sharing their most intimate thoughts not just with their close friends, but with their school peers, online buddies, a couple of hundred total strangers and a few dodgy old men that are probably looking to bugger them at some point in the near future.
Not only does it seem inappropriate to be so explicit, but I also have concerns that it's making face-to-face communication a more and more redundant experience. For example, I can now admit to several evenings where on turning up to meet an acquiantance, we've quickly discovered that we've had nothing to say, having spent the preceding afternoon busily texting one another our every move and thought. Surely diary-blogging just takes this to an even more extreme level, where people reveal absolutely every one of their personal thoughts to the masses, awaiting online postings from their friends in response... You get these bizarre online agony aunt-esque forums, with everyone pitching in, and no one really helping at all. And then, when you finally meet up with people in person, there is literally nothing left to say or do (except be buggered, possibly).
It is therefore with some pride that I draw your attention to how little the Silent Alliance blog says about my own personal turmoil and torment. It wouldn't be right, goddamit! I feel tremendous satisfaction in just how pointless my reflections are - the only problem is that face-to-face communication with me is generally an equally pointless experience, but that's something I hope to work on over the coming years. And now, to bed...
It must have been love, but it's over now. Thankfully the same cannot be said of Silent Alliance.
I recognise that it's not very fashionable to talk about the Brit awards (though encouragingly, slagging off Robbie Williams seems to be coming back into fashion), however it struck me that the nominations for best single seem to have reached a new low:
Take That - Patience
The Feeling - Fill My Little World
Razorlight - America
Snow Patrol - Chasing Cars
Will Young - All Time Love
I remember having a conversation with Philip Ybring (of Silent Alliance fame) a few weeks back, where we joked about Razorlight winning a similar poll for single of the year. However, the conversation then turned sour and somewhat disillusioning when we realised that we couldn't actually name a single that was any better. Take the songs above - they're all shit, and yet I am hard pressed to name another commercially successful song to challenge them (as far as I'm aware, The Twilight Singers' "There's been an accident" didn't chart). In fact, I'm not sure I can even name ten singles from last year.
Does this say more about the current state of the UK singles (sorry, 'downloads') market, or my own state of disinterest in modern music?
Anyway who cares...
More importantly, Buffalo Bar and Imperial College Union beckon for Silliance Alient, and who knows, following tomorrow's five hour practice/boozeathon there could even be a new song gracing the set. If we're all very nice, we could even get Mr. Ybring's solo rendition of Scatman's World. Or possibly not. But maybe. We'll see.
Anyway who cares...
The main point is that Bloc Party's new song is rubbish, Arctic Monkeys have never been any good, Kaiser Chiefs are becoming annoying, and I'm deliberately badmouthing as many bands as possible in an attempt to be controversial. I leave you with a quote from Wuthering Heights:
'Nearly ready to run about, Nell!' he replied, putting on a cheerful smile.
'And the mistress?' I ventured to inquire; 'the doctor says she's - '
'Damn the doctor!' he interrupted, reddening. 'Frances is quite right: she'll be perfectly well by this time next week. Are you going up-stairs? will you tell her that I'll come, if she'll promise not to talk. I left her because she would not hold her tongue; and she must - tell her Mr. Kenneth says she must be quiet.'
"Ah, what a world, what a world"... Or should I say, "what a week it's been in the life of Silent Alliance"?
The answer (altogether now) is no.
Following on from the hugely successful 93 Feet East gig last week, which saw Silent Alliance play so well that they hijacked another band's forthcoming headline slot at Imperial College (Silent Alliance 1, Other Band 0), SA will be returning to the Brick Lane venue as early as next week.
Just to clarify, that's SA, and not the SA.
Yes, Silent Alliance have been asked to fill in at short notice on Monday 12th February at 93 Feet East, and as a way of showing their appreciation, they're giving all Silent Alliance fans one pound off the entrance price. So just turn up on the night, state your allegiance, and all will be well in the world (unless of course the SA do show up).
In other news, the band is in discussion with potential management about... well, management, and also with potential sound engineers, about the possibility of finally putting pop classic Hjollok Tjalk onto acetate. Keep checking back for more info, and also be sure to moisturise, and avoid smoking or excessive drink, if you want to retain that youthful look.
To return to the Imperial College gig (Silent Alliance 1, Other Band 0), the date - February 22nd - ties in with a certain Mr. Ybring's birthday. Which Mr. Ybring? It would be unfair of me to say. However I will say that Philip, we'll be wishing you many happy returns on that day.
And one other thing - when people sign our mailing list, please don't tick the box that says 'Spookball?', as though you think you'll be entitled to a free gift or something. There will be a free gift, but only for the most creative answer received. Will it be a spookball? Well that would be telling...
Honestly, what's it all for? You work every day of your life, year after year, and then you wake up one morning, and you're dead...
It's been a good week, all things considered. Salif Diao was finally shown the Anfield exit, while I believe the Venezualan President has claimed Castro is almost healthy enough to go jogging - seems a ridiculous thing to be doing given the amount of times he's fallen over in recent years. I remember watching a documentary a few years back about the Manic Street Preachers playing in Cuba, with Castro going to their gig, and apparently telling them that their music was 'not as loud as war'. The only problem was, it was in support of their really really bad album Know Your Enemy, which I relistened to recently, and promptly wished I hadn't bothered.
This has led me onto an interesting point. Which is more infuriating?:
a) A good band that makes a bad record
b) A bad band that makes a good record
I'm now desperately trying to think of an example of both, so that I can lead the way in this discussion. Err... a) REM - Around The Sun... and b) Blur - Blur (because I literally can't think of a single other band, and now I keep singing 'Country Sad Ballad Man' over and over again, making further thought on this topic exceedingly tricky). You know all those people that said Blur are better than Oasis? Well, they're wrong aren't they... End of debate.
Today is Australia day, so I have worn a 'loud' shirt to commemorate the Aussies, and the majestic province of New Zealand that they call their home. Several of Silent Alliance's roadies happen to be Australian, so we will later be taking our off our cork hats in honour of them later today, and possibly dancing to Beds Are Burning as well.
And so I say to you, "The wilderness is rough and dangerous, and I beseech thee be more careful--I will follow slowly.--Ask of whom thou wilt, and thou shalt learn that I am not a churl-- I am no mountain dweller of rude caves, nor clown compelled to watch the sheep and goats; and neither canst thou know from whom thy feet fly fearful, or thou wouldst not leave me thus. "The Delphic Land, the Pataraean Realm, Claros and Tenedos revere my name, and my immortal sire is Jupiter. The present, past and future are through me in sacred oracles revealed to man, and from my harp the harmonies of sound are borrowed by their bards to praise the Gods. My bow is certain, but a flaming shaft surpassing mine has pierced my heart-- untouched before. The art of medicine is my invention, and the power of herbs; but though the world declare my useful works there is no herb to medicate my wound, and all the arts that save have failed their lord."
There's an old saying, spoken in an ancient tongue, from a forgotten time before the creation of that language we call sound.
Hello.
The above is an extract from my new book, 'Hello'. But let us not be distracted by my unquenchable thirst for publicity - we are here to talk about Silent Alliance, and 93 Feet East, the trendiest non-curry-house on Brick Lane. The beautiful people (as I assume them to be) have asked us to headline next Monday night, so we are going to be headlining next Monday night. "Where?" you ask. Well, I've just told you. You should really pay more attention in future.
Why so much attention on the London bombings anyway? Can't we all just get along? Or ignore it, and hope that it doesn't happen again? Newspapers are depressing, and what's more depressing is the fact that there was a dead dolphin in the paper this morning (not literally), possibly related to that ship that's currently being looted and sold on eBay. What I want to know is, why was the ship transporting dead dolphins in the first place?
So apparently he-who-must-not-be-named is now number one. I ask you, what has happened to the charts? I remember watching ToTP in the early 90s and seeing Sonya do 'Better The Devil You Know' in advance of her Eurovision appearance, and thinking, "Yes, I want to be in a band (although one that doesn't sound like her)". How times have changed - now all I want to do is watch TV racists and eat Kettle chips.
Well, as Freddie Mercury once said, "But life still goes on".
I'm sorry.
I remember the day my sister disappeared...
On a different note, you'll see that Mica is no more, and in its place is the infinitely more mysterious Silent Alliance. "What does it mean?" I hear you chorus in unison. Well I'll tell you... but not today. No, today is all about Archway – whether you're fighting in Iraq, caught up in the cash-for-honours dispute, battling through gale force winds or making snide racist comments on live television, it's ALL about Archway.
Tonight sees Silent Alliance take its loyal band of... err... band members back to the Archway Tavern, for what promises to be an excellent night at the increasingly popular 'Lovebuzz' club. A new song is on the cards (which cards I don't exactly know), as you may be able to tell from our new MySpace homepage. Is Silent Alliance about to turn into The Smiths? The answer, quite possibly, is yes.
In other MySpace news, we hope to have a finished version of Departure up and available very shortly - a bit late given that it's already been played live on half a dozen occasions as well as making an appearance on YouTube. But that's my fault, and I don't care who knows it. Also, following last week's successful Metro Club gig, the news is that we have been asked to return on March 23rd at an improved slot - we hope very much that you'll be joining us for that.
So, as we say a prayer for Fidel Castro (I wonder if the American authorities actively monitor blogs with his name in?), we hope that the forthcoming spring brings prosperity and fertility to Silent Alliance and the world at large, and we hope to continue in our bid to convert the masses to a higher form of melodic indie-pop. I won't call it art, because it's not - it's music. But on that note, I wish you ewn troos de reyparasyon.
myspace